For Old Time's Sake
by rcruz1234
Summary: Erica and Callie meet at an unlikely place on Christmas Eve.
1. Chapter 1

TITLE: For Old Time's Sake

AUTHOR: rcruz

_Disclaimer: If I owned them, things would look a lot different. The characters, settings, established histories, and general Grey's Anatomy universe referenced in this work are properties of their respective owners. This is a work of fiction for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended._

Author's Note: This is a Christmas piece that I was going to wait to post until the season was in full swing, but as Starbucks has rolled out the cheery red cups, I figured an early holiday tale might be apropos. It's set about a year after the infamous parking lot scene (the bad one).

Chapter 1

Her shoes were wet. She hated wet shoes. Considering the number of years Erica Hahn had spent in this rain soaked city, you would think she would have learned by now to invest in rainproof shoes. She had thought about it a hundred times and yet here she was with shoes that seemed to soak up the wetness with every squishy step. It was - to say the least - unpleasant and while it should not have come as a surprise that regular shoes would not keep her feet dry in Seattle, it always did. Today though, was different. It was not rain that was causing her discomfort, but snow. They had promised no real accumulations, but even the light dusting they were currently experiencing was making the ground wet. It was Christmas Eve. She should welcome the snow, but today was one of those days when she didn't need surprises like snow. She tried putting her wet feet out of her mind as she trudged through the dark parking lot keeping her focus on the doors in the distance and the relative warmth the building in front of her seemed to exude. It was all an illusion. She knew that too. These big stores wanted to appear warm and welcoming and so they made the light superficially bright. The actual store would probably be cold and chaotic. She frowned at the thought, hoping that she was wrong; at least about the chaos. Whatever the temperature inside, she prayed the store itself would be relatively empty of shoppers. Looking around at the parked cars gently covered with a thin layer of the same white powder swirling around her, she guessed not. It was more than likely a packed madhouse in there as people scrambled for last minute gifts. She sighed, put her head down and quickened her pace. There was no turning back.

This was a ritual of sorts. She always waited until the last couple of days to buy her Christmas gifts. She had gotten into the habit in school when time was scarce and it stuck as habits often do. This year an emergency at the hospital had forced her to delay her shopping plans even further and so here she was still shopping on Christmas Eve. Time was just as elusive now as it had been when she was at school. There never seemed to be enough of it.

Lisa certainly didn't agree. No, the woman she had been dating for the last few weeks was of the opinion that Erica created the time problem all on her own. It was not the constant patients in need of life saving procedures. It was not the pressures and demands of a job that required specialized knowledge and skills and an intense focus on details. It was not as if she dealt in life and death on a daily basis. No, it was Erica's time management skills that were in need of work.

Erica shook her head. She needed very desperately to deal with the Lisa problem. Things with Lisa were not going to work out, but it was Christmas and no matter how much of a bitch people thought she was, Erica would not break up with someone over the holidays. That was just cruel; maybe New Year's, but not Christmas. Not dealing with the Lisa problem until after Christmas however meant that she would still need to come up with a gift. She had purchased gifts for her sister, small nephews, mother and brother earlier in the day and had them shipped directly from the store. Her family never expected her gifts to arrive before Christmas, but in Erica's head, if she purchased them before the actual day, it counted as on time. But she had forgotten all about Lisa on her earlier excursion which was why she was now standing outside a giant retail store about to join the mobs packed into one of the few places still open on Christmas Eve.

She hadn't discussed holiday plans with Lisa. They hadn't talked at all lately. That was only slightly odd. After weeks and weeks of constant hounding about Erica's busy schedule, Lisa had abruptly curbed the pleading and begging for more time last week. It was the abruptness that was odd. It couldn't help but feel odd after the constancy of the nagging. What wasn't odd was that it was happening at all. No, given how things had been going lately between them, it was almost to be expected. Erica just wished that their inevitable break-up had happened before the holidays. It would have saved her a trip out in the snow.

When Erica first noticed that the constant phone calls had ceased, she thought Lisa was finally getting it, that they had come to an understanding of sorts. For about thirty seconds, she thought the lack of nagging signalled a new more pleasant stage of their relationship; that Lisa had finally gotten what it meant to date a doctor. And then that half minute passed, things came into focus and reality presented itself. Erica didn't know absolutely if she was right, but she suspected she was. Lisa had found someone else to nag. Okay, if she was being fair maybe Lisa had found her true love and not merely someone else to harp at. Maybe she had found someone who would enjoy spending lots of time with her; someone that could put in all the time Lisa seemed to require.

Erica hoped so, but there was still the chance she was wrong. Maybe Lisa had come around to understanding about Erica's crazy schedule after all. She didn't think so, but it was possible. If she knew Lisa at all, and she felt she did, her guess that Lisa had found someone else to nag was probably right. Still it was a guessing game until they talked about it and until they did, Erica felt an obligation to find a stupid gift.

She reached the doors which opened automatically and made her way inside hurriedly. The mass of humanity on the other side bombarded her senses. The noise levels were through the roof and the heat being generated by the excitable crowd made her dizzy. But she had seen worse in ERs, so she got herself together and trudged into the masses pushing some people not so gently out of her way and doing her best to side step others. She headed for accessories figuring a purse would be easy, but as people dispersed in front of her she saw why there was so much confusion in the directionless crowd. The store was bordering on empty. The pickings were slim. The purse section looked like a nightmare; rows of hooks on low displays, empty of wares, just staring back her. She glanced quickly at lingerie which was nearby and apart from a few ragged looking pieces of pyjama bottoms and stray bras littering the floor, that space was empty as well.

"Damn it!"

She continued looking resolving to pick up whatever she found and go with it. They were on the verge of a break up anyway. Maybe a bad gift would unburden her of the responsibility of actually having to say the words. She walked up and down the aisles in accessories feeling discouraged and deflated by the rows and rows of empty hooks mocking her. She passed by one aisle and thought she saw a strap. She reached for it blindly only to have an adolescent girl snatch it out of her grasp a split second before her fingers could wrap themselves around the fake leather. Fingers clutching dead air, she almost screamed in frustration.

She went back to searching as rationalizations made circles in her head. Maybe she could get away with simply not calling Lisa. If she didn't call, they wouldn't have to discuss the holidays and there would be no need for a gift. Perhaps they were broken up already. Her guess that Lisa had found someone else to lavish her attentions on was more than likely right; so maybe they didn't need to see each other at all. Maybe Lisa had already called to break up with her or maybe she had sent a text. She was irrationally reaching for her phone to check that possibility when she saw a lone brown purse sitting at the end of the aisle she was in. She used her long legs to cover the space between her and the purse quickly and reached for it glad when her fingers felt the cold leather of a strap. She grasped the purse toward her determined to bolt for the registers, but the purse suddenly seemed heavy.

She pulled harder but felt a very distinct resistance that could only be another human being. She almost let go. She didn't want to get caught up in some cat fight over a purse she was buying for a woman she didn't even like anymore. Her natural competitiveness, however, kept her hanging on. She straightened up and looked at her competition. It was a woman.

"I have to have this for my mother," the woman pleaded as her eyes scanned the area, probably for other stray purses.

Erica couldn't believe her eyes. She was utterly and totally bewildered by the presence in front of her.

"Callie?"


	2. Chapter 2

TITLE: For Old Time's Sake

AUTHOR: rcruz

_Disclaimer: If I owned them, things would look a lot different. The characters, settings, established histories, and general Grey's Anatomy universe referenced in this work are properties of their respective owners. This is a work of fiction for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended._

Chapter 2

Callie's head spun around at the sound of her name. Erica felt Callie's hold on the purse relax right before she relinquished her own claim. She looked around nervously. This was awkward.

"Erica?" said Callie in a slightly squeaky voice that caused a small chuckle in Erica.

She had forgotten how cute Callie could be. She shook her head at the positive thought. She wasn't supposed to have thoughts like that, not about Callie. Not anymore.

"Hi," she responded at a loss for anything else. She thought about turning around and walking away, but everything seemed awkward and weird in that moment rendering her confused and unable to act.

"Hey! Oh my God I never thought I'd see you…here…um…today of all days. I mean…oh my God!" Callie was excitable and excited even in her speech. She paused for a few seconds "I can't believe it's you," she said almost in a whisper.

It was the softest voice Erica had ever heard. She gulped. She had been so in love with this woman once. She looked down at the purse Callie was holding and then at the chaos still around them, and noticed the preteen looking girl from earlier eyeing the purse hanging loosely from Callie's hands. With slightly narrowed eyes in the girl's direction, she reached for the strap in Callie's hand, effectively wrapping her fingers around Callie's in an effort to get her to tighten her hold on the purse.

"You better hang on tight to that. That girl over there is a viscous shopper."

The movement had brought them into close proximity, closer than politeness dictated, but neither of them seemed to mind or notice. Callie looked in the direction of the girl and tightened her grip. She felt Erica tighten hers as well and smiled.

"Yeah, she looks vicious," she said in a teasing tone.

"Trust me, she's more vicious than she looks," said Erica finally stepping back and removing her hand from Callie's. It was Callie's perfume that had done it. It was all too familiar and enticing and was making her feel warm in ways that had nothing to do with the temperature inside the store. She needed to step away.

Callie missed the closeness immediately and almost sighed. They had not spoken to each other in a year and yet it felt like time had not passed. Seeing Erica was making her stomach do wild flips and the return of the familiar feelings she associated with Erica didn't surprise her in the least. It was strange that they could come back in such a rush so quickly, but she was not mistaken about what they were. There was not a day that passed that she didn't think of Erica, of how Erica made her feel, of how Erica had utterly changed her life and yes, even how thoroughly Callie had messed everything up. She had made a lot of mistakes in her life, but this one, the one she had made with Erica; it haunted her. A year ago they'd had that last blowout in the parking lot. Surrounded by street lights and strange cars, with only the moon as their witness, they had ended. Since then they'd seen each other once at a conference, but had not talked. Callie had been too scared to approach her. It was cowardly, but then that had been her problem all along, she was always too scared. Besides it had been easy to stay away. Erica had spent a lot of time in between sessions at that conference on the phone in some sort of frantic conversation.

"Gift for your Mom?" asked Erica.

"What?" responded Callie, feeling confused. She stepped closer to Erica both because she was having a hard time hearing and because she missed the closeness.

"Your Mom? The purse? Is it for your Mom?" repeated Erica. She had almost stepped back when Callie had moved closer, but space was limited as people continued jostling and jockeying around them. In the end, she stayed right where she was enjoying the sweet scent of Callie's perfume.

"Purse?" asked Callie reaching up with the hand that held the purse to tame her dark hair.

Erica smiled. Callie really did seem confused. "The purse you have in your hand? The one you stole from me?"

Realization broke out all over Callie's face. She stepped back slightly and looked at the purse.

"Oh God, yeah, the purse. Yeah, it's for my mom. I didn't think my parents were coming for Christmas, but they're here and of course I've had no time to shop, so…I'm sorry, I did steal it from you. Look you can have it. I was just looking for something…anything really…"

Her babbling was interrupted by a soft touch on her arm, so very familiar that she wanted nothing more than to curl her body around it. She wanted it to linger. It didn't.

"It's okay. Mom gift definitely trumps my use for it," said Erica in a comforting tone that surprised both of them. Erica had never been good with people, but Callie had always been the exception. Erica suspected she always would be.

Callie forgot the purse and focused on Erica's amused face. She missed that face. She missed that smile and it was in that unguarded moment of remembrance, of thinking about just how much this woman had changed her life that she blurted it out.

"God, I miss you."

Erica blushed, looked away, and stepped back mindless of the crowd behind her. Her movement created a gulf between them. Callie's eyes wanted to water. She knew she should want to take the words back, that she should regret saying them, that she should not expose that much of herself to someone that should be a stranger. But she didn't. For once she did not regret the vulnerability she had displayed. She did regret everything else. She regretted every single thing she had done to make this woman shrink from her. She looked away and blinked rapidly in an effort to halt the threatening tears.

"I'm sorry," she said because she didn't know what else to say.

"It's okay," said Erica. "You won the purse fair and square. I let go."

Callie didn't know if the misunderstanding was deliberate and was unsure how to respond. She wanted to correct her, to get them back on a different conversation, to tell her that she was sorry, not for taking the purse, something that had been more chance than willful intent, but for hurting her, for letting Erica stand out on a limb by herself and then watching her fall without reaching out a hand or whispering words of comfort. She wanted to say sorry for not supporting her when she should have back in that parking lot a year ago and she especially wanted to apologize for not going after her.

"You let go, but I should have come after you like you always did with me," she said hoping Erica would understand.

Erica was confused. She was very confused. She was confused by Callie's words but also by her own reactions. She hadn't seen Callie in a year, if you didn't count the time they had glanced at each other at an otherwise forgettable conference and Erica didn't. She had moved on quite nicely from Callie Torres and so the surge of warmth, the desire for closeness she felt standing in the middle of a crowded and chaotic department store was confusing. She was over this.

"Callie…" she started, but then stopped. She had no idea what to say.

Callie stepped closer almost unconsciously, purse still clutched in her hand. Erica's eyes widened in slight alarm, but then got caught in the brown shiny ones staring back her. They seemed to be searching or maybe they were questioning, she wasn't sure which. She managed to break away from them, only to have her eyes betray her anyway by settling on the full lips she remembered only too well.

"Callie, I'm not…" she started again positive Callie could feel her unsure breaths.

She still had no ending for the sentence she had started moments earlier. Her rational senses were leaving her quickly as her eyes remained focused on the lips in front of her. It would only take a step. One easy step forward and her body would be close enough to feel Callie's warmth. A slight bend at the waist, a mere inch of leaning forward and an angling of her head would get her closer to those lips. She could imagine it or was she living it?

"Are you buying that?" asked a voice that was unfamiliar to both of them.

The moment was broken. It took a few seconds for Erica to come back to the real world. She had no time to ponder if what she had been imagining was only in her head or something that had almost happened so she chose to keep it in her head. Shit like that didn't happen. She hadn't seen Callie in a year. You don't just see each other in a store by chance and end up kissing. That crap just does not happen!

"Yeah, I am," she heard Callie respond to the girl that had been eyeing them earlier. The tone was a little harsh and dismissive but did the trick as the girl scrambled away.

Erica laughed. "Nice tone. You have it down."

"I learned from the best," said Callie the lightness in her voice returning.

They were both smiling, but the silence that followed the remark eventually became awkward.

"Well, you better get to the registers…"

"How about we get out of here and…"

They spoke in unison and could not help laughing as they tripped over each other's words.

"I'm sorry, you were saying?" asked Erica.

Callie stared at her for a few seconds before responding. "How about a drink?" she finally asked a little nervously.

Erica wanted to say yes. Her bones were screaming it, but she hesitated.

"I don't know if…I'm not sure…"

"It's Christmas Eve," said Callie interrupting her. She wasn't sure if that would or should mean anything. Could a day really make a difference? It certainly didn't change what had happened. It wasn't going to change the last year. Still there was something about this time of year that made you less afraid of asking and she was hoping that that same something would make Erica more willing to take a chance.

Erica was looking for a reason to say no because everything inside her was saying yes. She needed to quell those yeses, to drown out that desire to be around Callie because listening to all the yeses had only produced hurt and bad feelings last time. Her eyes strayed to the purse Callie was still holding.

"I can't," she said slowly. "I have to find a gift for my girlfriend."

That broke the magic of the moment. She saw it in Callie's body. She saw the eyes dim, her back straighten, her features tighten all over. Callie looked at the ground for a few seconds and then raised her head. She was smiling, but it was forced and both of them knew it.

"Well, that's a pretty important thing," she said in a tone that was overly cheery.

Erica merely nodded. She hated this. It was as if the good feelings they had managed to generate in the last few minutes were leaking out of her. She had been feeling crappy when she walked into this store and was wholly unprepared for the inexplicably happy feelings running into Callie had produced. There was confusion there too, but in and amongst that, there was also a lot of joy. She wanted to curse. Despite all of the good feelings of the last few minutes, she was going to walk out of here feeling worse. So was Callie.

She couldn't handle it. The faster they got out of each other's company, the better.

"I better get going," she said willing her feet to move her. They didn't.

Callie swallowed. She didn't want Erica to go. She knew she would probably regret this, but she surged ahead anyway with her own brand of Christmas courage.

"You still have to get a gift, right?"

"A gift?" asked Erica still wondering why her feet were refusing to move.

"For your…girlfriend," said Callie clearing her throat at the last word.

"Who?" asked Erica, finally managing, with a great deal of effort, to make her feet move a few inches away from Callie.

"Your girlfriend?" asked Callie now wondering if she had heard right a few minutes ago. She stepped closer to Erica, not even conscious of doing so, distracted as she was by the idea that maybe there was a story behind the girlfriend.

"Girlfriend?" asked Erica cursing the fact that her feet were less inclined to move when Callie was so close. Giving up on her feet momentarily she reviewed the conversation of the last few minutes, which she had only been half paying attention to and then blurted, "Girlfriend! Right, my girlfriend. Yes, I do need to get her something, but I don't think I'll find anything here."

"It's the only place open, Erica."

Erica knew Callie was right, well mostly right. "There's a gas station open on my way home."

Callie's eyes widened. "Gas station? Seriously, you are thinking of getting your girlfriend a gift from the gas station? For Christmas?"

Callie was doing a bit of wishful thinking. She knew it, but it was okay because if you're going to do wishful thinking, you might as well do it on Christmas and right now she was pretty wishfully thinking that the girlfriend was not a serious girlfriend. Erica did not have a reputation as the most sensitive person around, but Callie was fairly certain that she would not give a gas station gift for Christmas to someone special.

"No, I…" Erica hesitated, at a loss as to how to explain how her thoughts had evolved since she had walked into this store. What she was thinking was that sometime in the last few minutes she had decided that Lisa was not getting a present from her, Christmas or no Christmas. The relationship was over and thus there was no reason for her to be running around looking for a present. She respected the holiday, but frankly she had tried. It was a metaphor for their whole relationship. They had tried and failed. She wouldn't be surprised if Lisa didn't even bother to call. She hadn't in the last week and half. It was late Christmas Eve and she hadn't heard a peep. But that was too complicated a thought to share with Callie right now.

"Come on, I'll help you pick something out," said Callie seeming a little more energized.

She grabbed Erica by the arm and started dragging her through the thinning crowd. The masses of people were diminishing and not much of a mass anymore. The noise level was going down as people left the store, some disappointed, others with a sense of relief. Callie kept her hand wrapped around Erica's arm as she led her through empty aisle after empty aisle. They found nothing in jewelry, not a thing in lingerie, not even a stray pillow in house wares. Finally they found themselves in the candy aisle where they managed to find a jar of mixed nuts with a Mr. Peanut decked out in holiday garb and a bag of Mike & Ike candy that Callie refused to consider worthy of eating let alone a gift.

"I would have had better luck at the gas station," mumbled Erica although gifts for Lisa were the furthest thing from her mind. She found it hard to focus on the supposed object of their search with Callie so tantalizing close. She was doing that thing she had liked doing during their very brief courtship where she pulled her whole body close to Erica's and kept it there.

Erica knew the situation was surreal and bizarre. She went with it anyway because it was only one night. One night for old time's sake in which her ex-girlfriend, the one she compared every other girl to, the one she still had dreams about, was helping her pick out a gift for her alleged current girlfriend whom she doubted was still her girlfriend. Yes, that made perfect sense.

They heard the announcement that the store would be closing over the speaker. Erica reached over and placed her hand on the one encircling her upper arm. She squeezed and felt Callie's hand wrap itself around hers as they faced each other. It was a strange feeling and an even stranger moment. Erica didn't think about it. She didn't want to think. She just wanted to feel this moment for as long as she could. Unfortunately that couldn't be forever.

"We better get you checked out," she said reluctant to say the words that would in essence end the moment.

Callie nodded and started walking but did let go of the hand in hers. Apparently Callie didn't want this strange moment to end either. Erica followed not knowing what was going on or why or what it all meant. She only knew it would be over soon. They checked out without sharing another word and then walked out to the slowly emptying parking lot.

They stood in the middle of it. Erica was trying to think of what to say. Callie took note of their surroundings. A quiet sadness invaded her night of wishful thinking as she thought about the last time they stood in a parking lot with stars overhead, facing each other. She closed her eyes oblivious to Erica's struggle with what to do next.

Just as Erica was formulating her goodbye, Callie spoke.

"Let's go for that drink. Maybe you can buy your girlfriend a gift card from…a bar? Do they do that?"

Erica laughed a little. "I honestly don't know." And she didn't know if she wanted to go either. Well, more accurately, she did, she just didn't know if she should. Callie grabbed her hand.

"Come on, I owe you something. You let me win the purse."

Erica tried to frown, but it was hard with Callie's warm hand in hers. "You don't owe me anything, Callie."

_I owe you an apology_, thought Callie, although she didn't speak those words out loud.

"Please," whispered Callie pulling for that old Christmas magic to give her this one thing.

Erica thought about it for a few seconds. She wanted to. She wanted a lot of things, but wasn't that the harsh lesson she had learned with Callie? You don't always get what you want in love. In fact, she doubted that most people got what they wanted out of relationships. She certainly never had, not in the long-term anyway. She sighed. You don't often get the long-term things you want, but when the short-term things present themselves, you might as well grab on to them for however short the length of time.

"Okay," she said, still unsure if she should let go of reason, even for just a night.


	3. Chapter 3

TITLE: For Old Time's Sake

AUTHOR: rcruz

_Disclaimer: If I owned them, things would look a lot different. The characters, settings, established histories, and general Grey's Anatomy universe referenced in this work are properties of their respective owners. This is a work of fiction for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended._

_Author's Note: A big thanks to those of you who have taken the time to review. Your kind words are an inspiration. I'm not sure how many chapters there will be in total, but this is a short "fluffy" Christmas piece, so we won't get to double digits in chapter length. The story takes place over a period of two days. I was inspired to write this last year as I sat in my car listening to Same Old Lang Syne by Dan Folgerberg at the height of the Christmas season. It didn't go in the exact direction I intended, but these things never do. Hope you enjoy._

**Chapter 3**

It took them a while to figure out what to do with their vehicles, but in the end they ended up in their own cars driving around looking for an open bar and communicating via cell phones as they searched. When Callie's third suggestion turned up closed, Erica took over the navigations and steered them to her house. She was not thinking about Lisa or whether she would call or come over. She gave no considerations to how intimate it would be to share wine with Callie in front of a fire. All she was thinking about when she made the decision was that she had good wine at her house and she was sick of driving around in snow with slightly damp shoes.

Still the impact of the scenario she was creating came home fully as she was unlocking the door to her townhouse, a fact that caused her to hesitate momentarily.

"Anything wrong?" asked Callie standing next to her shivering slightly.

Erica finished turning the key. "No," she said quickly. They were here already. There was no turning back. She opened the door and let them both in.

"Nice," said Callie removing her hat and coat.

It was warm at Erica's and she was thankful to be able to shed the layers of winter clothes she could never quite get used to. She looked around for a place to hang up her coat, but remembered that Erica herself often walked in and tossed her jacket or coat wherever was most convenient. Erica was funny like that, very organized in almost every aspect of her life, and yet unable to complete the simple act of hanging up a jacket. She tossed her own outwear onto the nearest chair and prepared to slip off her shoes.

Erica had not moved. The door clicked, closing behind her as she let her back rest against it in a casual pose. She was watching Callie intently. Callie was so beautiful. Her dark hair was longer these days, more full, making her even more enticing and attractive. Her curvaceous body still moved with a sexy air of confidence that made Erica want to touch her. Her lips were still the perfect shape, sexy and full, and Erica was quite sure they would be just as soft as she remembered. She was wearing her trademark uniform, a very fitted long sleeve t-shirt with a low-neck line Erica appreciated and a very tight pair of black jeans. Erica could barely make out the color of the top in the sparse moonlight streaming in through her windows, a fact that spurred a frantic reaching for the light switch next to the door. The brightness of the sudden influx of light assaulted them both, but after a few seconds Erica managed to dim the lights just enough to bask her place in warm golden tones.

"Sorry," she apologized as she turned her focus back to Callie only to blink several times. Callie was stripping off her top. _What the hell?_ She was tempted to clear her throat and ask just that but was smart enough, just this once, to let the scene unfold on its own.

"It's a little warm," said Callie as her head was released from the folds of the t-shirt she had just discarded.

The simple white tank top she wore underneath revealed parts of Callie that Erica had tried hard to forget, caramel skin, strong arms, her very full chest all had Erica's own temperature rising. This was going to be harder than she anticipated.

Callie was looking at her with concern. "Hey, everything okay?" she asked trying to ignore the twinge she felt at the full on look of desire she was sure she was seeing on Erica's face.

"Yes, absolutely. Everything is…perfect," said Erica and meant it. She looked around her home for no other reason than that she needed to pull her eyes away. "You get the wine," she instructed pushing off the door and standing straight. "I have to get out of these wet shoes and then I'll start a fire. Everything's in the kitchen, just look around. Glasses are in the first cabinet above the small refrigerator."

Callie flashed a smile. "Awesome!" she said.

They had goals, tasks they needed to accomplish. They should move. They should both be moving, but instead they were staring at each other. A minute went by. Finally Erica forced her body to move and started making her way past the kitchen.

"Okay, kitchen's that way," she pointed, even though it was an open floor plan and she was sure Callie could see it from where she was standing.

"Got it," said Callie as she watched Erica walk down the long hall that she was guessing led to Erica's bedroom.

Things were indeed easy to find in Erica's kitchen. The place was big, too big for someone who did not cook, thought Callie sheepishly. It was almost entirely white, a strange color choice given that Erica worked in a hospital. Callie shrugged; maybe it felt more like home to Erica. It was tastefully done and modern, but not clinical. The cabinets were made of thick wood. There were huge windows over the sink and more elegant looking cabinets with glass doors interspersed among the solid wood. The countertops were dark granite, the floor tiled white and gray. Callie smiled. Making something complicated and messy like marinara sauce in this very white space might pose a challenge, especially for the person doing the clean up. She found wine chilling in a small refrigerator set at the far end of the counter and glasses arranged neatly and tastefully in the cabinet above. She didn't bother to consider the selection. Erica had impeccable taste in wine, so she knew that whatever her choice, it would be excellent. She went with a white, found the corkscrew, struggled with it for a few minutes before finally hearing the satisfying pop of the cork and then busied herself pouring. She picked up the now full glasses intent on taking them to the room living room area but paused as Erica emerged from the dark hallway she had descended into minutes earlier. She was looking lot more comfortable, relaxed, and at ease.

Callie couldn't help staring. Erica's blond hair was down. She had changed into jeans that hugged her slim figure and a dark blue sweater that appeared midnight in the dim light. It looked well worn and comfortable, something she imagined Erica wearing on cold rainy days. She had lost the shoes and now wore fuzzy blue socks on her feet that were almost comical in their plushness. The very relaxed outfit, even the comic effect of the warm socks took nothing away from Erica's natural beauty. She was absolutely stunning.

"I see you found the wine," said Erica running her hands through her hair and surveying the living room briefly. "The fire should be easy," she added as she turned back to face Callie who was still holding two glasses of wine and staring at her.

Erica was held in place by the soft brown eyes she had always found inviting. It was almost like old times and for a moment, she really wanted those times back when a look like that from Callie was like a shot of adrenaline straight to her heart.

"Let me grab that," she finally managed to say, stretching out her hand to relieve Callie of one of the glasses.

Callie's smile was intoxicating. Erica stared for a few seconds, but couldn't take the tension they were creating.

"What?" she asked wanting to break the tension entirely.

Callie's smiled widened and Erica felt her body weaken. She needed a drink, but resisted the urge to bring the glass in her hands to her lips. She wanted to wait until they were settled before starting on the wine. Somehow that just seemed right.

Callie took a deep breath. "Sorry, didn't mean to stare. You just look…great. You look really good."

It was the way she said _good _that sent tingles down Erica's spine. She silently cursed her body's reactions. She was over this. She should be over this. There was no reason a compliment from Callie, even one spoken in a tone that fairly screamed desire, should produce such tingles or awaken the butterflies that had been long dormant. She tensed and prepared to sound harsh. She had to put a stop to this. She had to get them back on friendly territory.

"I wasn't going for good, just comfortable," she said failing miserably. Her tone was far from harsh. At most it was matter-of-fact and despite the circumstances and her desire to put up walls, she found herself wanting to return the compliment. _It was only fair_, she rationalized. After all, she had been ogling Callie earlier.

"You look great too," she said intending to leave it at that fairly innocent compliment. Her mind had different ideas; something inside her was pushing, encouraging, or maybe screaming for a little honesty. "You look absolutely amazing," she added and grinned when her words were met with one of Callie's big over-the-top smiles, the one that transformed her already beautiful face into something quite exquisite.

Callie moved closer, almost unconsciously and Erica welcomed the closeness, despite herself and the warnings she thought should be sounding off in her head.

"So living room? Fire?" asked Callie standing mere inches from Erica with big open eyes. "Tell you what, I'll see if you have anything to nibble on in that giant fridge I found in the kitchen and grab the bottle of wine. You work on the fire and we'll meet up in a few minutes?" she said in a questioning tone, tinged with a note of uncertainty.

The whole situation was crazy and Erica knew it. They both did. Still, she smiled at the suggestion, held up her glass and clinked it with Callie's, before slowly stepping past her on her way to the large open space where her couches and fireplace were located. They once again had tasks to accomplish and though neither one of them could tell who did what, somehow as they passed each other, their free hands brushed and then gently squeezed.


	4. Chapter 4

TITLE: For Old Time's Sake

AUTHOR: rcruz

_Disclaimer: If I owned them, things would look a lot different. The characters, settings, established histories, and general Grey's Anatomy universe referenced in this work are properties of their respective owners. This is a work of fiction for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended._

_Author's Note: Big chapter ahead. Things heat up…_

**Chapter 4**

It was comfortable, despite the fact that they had both ended up sitting on the plush carpeting instead of the soft couches. Callie had found nothing of interest in the fridge. She had toyed briefly with the idea of cooking, but decided against it quickly and instead merely picked up the wine bottle and made her way back to the living room. By the time she returned, the fire was going and Erica was happily stretched out on the floor. She was staring into the flames, her back against the love seat closest to the fire, long legs stretched out in front of her, glass in hand. For a split second Callie considered plopping herself down right next to her, but decided that would be too pushy, so she simply set the bottle down near Erica and settled for a spot on the floor in front of the big couch that was across the warm fire. She took in her surroundings with a quick glance.

The room itself was huge and nicely coordinated. The placement of the sofa, love seat and end tables created an enclave around the fire that gave the room a cozy, but not crowded feel. Her seat put her directly in front of the fire and gave her a great view of Erica, making it a good choice. Despite the comfort of the place, it seemed to lack a personal touch. The carpet was thick and soft and white. The amount of white in Erica's home continued to surprise Callie. The couches were white as well, but the built in bookcases that framed the fire were a dark mahogany. It was nice and more comfortable than she had anticipated it would be to be here with Erica, but then being comfortable had never been a problem with them, well, not exactly never. Callie had been weird and awkward once they finally acknowledged that there was more than friendship between them. But apart from that little hiccup, they had always been comfortable with each other. In fact, that was probably one of the reasons Callie had freaked. It had been hard to think about just how comfortable she was in light of their growing intimacy. She hadn't wanted to think about what that meant at the time. Of course, in hindsight, her chosen plan of action, ignore, deny, and run to Mark, had made things more difficult and cost her a lot. Yes, it had freaked her out, but she was over that now. Way, way over that. Today, right now, this very second it did not bother or freak her out in the least that she was sitting comfortably on Erica's floor, with her back against Erica's couch, in front of Erica's fire and that she would be just as comfortable in Erica's arms. Nope, didn't bother her in the least. On the contrary, those thoughts had elicited interesting and enticing scenarios that excited her, even if they were slightly inappropriate and unrealistic.

Erica finally pulled her gaze away from the fire and turned her attention to Callie. She raised her glass as if toasting and smiled.

"To old times?" she asked.

Callie smiled. "Most definitely," she replied.

They were too far away to clink glasses, but went through the motions before drinking anyway, holding each other's gaze for a long time.

Eventually they looked away and focused on the fire. With eyes darting between each other and the fire they chatted easily, at first about work, although there wasn't much to share on that topic. It was useless for either of them to pretend that they had not kept up with each other's careers. They were both surgeons, they worked in the same city. Callie knew Erica was at University Medical School teaching and performing surgeries for University Hospital. Erica seemed to be just as informed about Callie's career. Callie shared some of the personal dramas always percolating at Seattle Grace, but didn't want to dwell on that topic too much. They had been part of that drama once and she knew Erica hated it.

Callie was more interested in the "girlfriend" Erica had mentioned, but it was a subject Erica was being extremely vague about. There were no pictures of her around the house that Callie could see. She had asked a few open questions about 'friends" here and there in the hopes of getting Erica to talk about a specific friend, like the girlfriend, but so far the girlfriend had gone unmentioned. She had been wondering how far she should push when she noticed that Erica had gone silent and pensive. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence. On the contrary, it gave her the opportunity to truly admire the woman in front of her.

Her blonde hair seemed to shine in the dim light, highlighting the cute curls and waves that seemed to have a life of their own. Her pale features were illuminated by the firelight, making the well-defined cheekbones and strong jaw stand out. Erica had a sharp beauty hard to put into words, but evident in every facial expression, especially her smile. That had been a rare occurrence at Seattle Grace, but it was one of the things that made Callie feel special. She had been the one person at the hospital that could make Erica Hahn smile easily, always had been. She frowned. That was also in part what had made it so easy for Callie to hurt her. Erica had always made herself vulnerable with Callie. She had given Callie her friendship and then her heart willing and seemingly without hesitation, never expecting Callie to chop it up into a million pieces.

"Callie?"

She came out of her thoughts at the sound of her name. "Yeah?"

"Are you okay?" asked Erica.

"Of course," she lied. She cleared her throat and resolved to return to their earlier conversation. She really wanted to know about the girlfriend, but she was discovering that if she was going to learn anything about this mystery woman, she would need to ask direct questions. "So tell me about your girlfriend. What does she do? Where did you meet? How long have you been together?" She fired her questions in rapid succession hoping Erica would answer any one of them if not all.

"She's in marketing, I think," said Erica, furrowing her brow as if trying hard to recall how she knew that particular nugget of information.

Callie raised an eyebrow, "You think?"

"Yes, I think so," said Erica, unfazed by the questioning tone. "We met at a hospital function. We've been seeing each other for a few weeks," she offered in a matter of fact tone. She could have been relaying the weather.

Callie waited for more information, but apparently the woman seated kitty corner from her in the comfortable, but still sexy looking sweater draped so seductively off her shoulder was too busy happily pouring wine to offer up any more. Callie sighed. The wine seemed to be relaxing Erica, easing the tension that was so often present and making her even more beautiful. The sweater she wore looked soft and inviting and more than once tonight she had wanted to simply plop herself next to Erica and touch it. Pushing aside the inappropriate thoughts that seemed to be increasing with her wine intake, she cleared her throat again. If she wanted information, she would have to continue the prodding.

"Is she with her family tonight?" she asked taking a sip from her drink and trying to ignore the twinges of guilt that had taken up residence without warning. What was she doing here fantasizing about a woman who for all intents and purposes was taken?

Erica chuckled producing an interesting small laugh before declaring: "I don't rightly know."

Despite herself and her feelings of guilt, Callie found all of this promising. She had seen no outward signs of another woman's presence in this space and Erica's tone suggested something casual and not serious. But that last response produced another raised eyebrow from Callie.

"You don't know?"

Erica shook her head. "Not really."

Maybe it was the wine, maybe Erica was a little too relaxed or perhaps she was just sick of the charade, but for whatever reason she decided to come clean. "Actually, I'm not sure I have a girlfriend."

Callie was taken aback. "Wait? What? I thought you said..."

"I think she may have moved on without telling me. It's a long…actually it's not that long of a story."

Callie waited for the story. She tried not to be too excited. After all, just because Erica might be available and Callie much more willing this time around didn't mean Erica was still interested. They'd had moments tonight when she thought there was still a spark, but that could just be the damn wishful thinking she'd been engaged in since running into her. She really wanted to sit next to her. She pushed that thought aside and redoubled her efforts to stay focused on the story and not get overly excited. She turned her attention back to Erica, determined to do just that.

Erica was looking at her with shiny eyes that seemed unnaturally lacking focus. Callie tried to remember how much wine they'd had, but concluded it couldn't have been that much. They had barely gotten through one bottle. They had done more damage in a couple of hours back in the days when they were first getting to know each other and closing down the bar did not necessarily mean it was the end of their night. She put thoughts of possible drunkenness aside.

"Tell me," she said softly. "I'd like to know the story, long or short."

"Nothing too exciting or strange, quite cliché actually," said Erica taking another sip of wine. "We dated. It was exciting at first and then she started wanting more time."

Callie listened intently. The story was familiar to doctors everywhere. She'd heard it a hundred times. There was a reason doctors dated other doctors. Only they seemed to understand the demands and pressures of the job and the fact that it wasn't just a job.

"I'm sure you know how it is. Time is a commodity doctors have in short supply. We used to argue about it all the time but lately we've argued less," continued Erica.

Erica took a breath unsure of the telling of this story. It was surreal to be sitting here with Callie talking about her love life. Callie in the sexy tank top that had her head spinning; Callie the person she had fallen so hard for, she was surprised she survived the fall; Callie the woman who had done such a good job of breaking her heart. Still, for whatever reason, they were here and Callie wanted to know and she, well, Erica couldn't refuse. She let her gaze return to Callie. Her black jeans accentuated her curves in such a way that every shift of her legs caused a stirring in Erica. She wanted to blame it on the wine, but wasn't sure that was exactly fair. Callie was a sexy woman, with or without the wine.

Callie had thus far offered no commentary to her story, seemingly content to listen. She was holding on to her wine glass tightly, concentrating on Erica and trying to keep her face neutral. She wasn't very good at it. Erica could always tell when she was uneasy and right now Callie seemed a little out of her comfort zone. Still the eyes staring back at her were full of understanding and genuine sympathy. She almost allowed herself to believe Callie still cared. Erica took another sip of wine before finishing off the story.

"The truth is we've argued less because we've talked less. We haven't really been talking at all. I'm not even sure I'll see her for the holidays. My guess is that she has found greener pastures."

"But you don't know?" said Callie taking her own sip.

"I would take my guesses over other people's assurances any day," she answered.

"Then she's an idiot," said Callie setting her now empty glass to the side and smiling. "I know all about that kind of idiocy," she added in a serious tone.

Erica could not take being serious. Not today, not right now, not with this much wine in her.

"It's in the past Callie. Let's leave it there," she said getting up from the floor with some difficulty and heading for the kitchen. "More wine?" she called to Callie.

"That would be great," said Callie through a sigh.

It was the first reference Erica had made to their shared past the whole night. The ease with which they had slipped into a physical closeness tonight had come as a big surprise. She hadn't known they could still be capable of that kind of intimacy. That Erica had let it happen had shocked her. Erica's last comment had not. Erica had every right to be angry with her, to not want to rehash or revisit the past. It was natural to want to leave it alone.

Still, their eyes had held a number of times this evening; the casual hand holding earlier had been welcome and easy. There was something there and it couldn't just be coming from Callie. Callie felt a presence at her shoulder and almost jumped out of her skin as she reacted to Erica's sudden appearance behind her. She was standing there with a new bottle of wine in hand. Callie reached for her glass and lifted, allowing Erica to refill it.

Erica felt in complete control. Despite the bottle of wine they had shared and the challenge that had been getting up off the floor without falling, she was now standing upright and feeling steady. Her hand did not shake as she poured, her eyes vigilantly ensuring that not a drop was spilled. She finished pouring, careful to avoid Callie's eyes and then walked back to her seat bottle in hand. The wine was making everything just a bit confusing, but she was still herself and she felt good. She wondered if Callie would continue her prodding and didn't know which she preferred, for Callie to drop it or continue to push. That must be the wine talking.

It had been strange running into Callie and stranger still to have her here now. For a moment she thought about how bad it was to be sitting here with Callie. She had left her old apartment a year ago in an effort to exorcise the demons of Seattle Grace, chief among them the hurt that had been Callie Torres and now Callie was taking up space in her new place. She liked this townhouse. She hoped she wouldn't have to leave this home too just because she had run into Callie at a store.

"Do you find this strange?" she blurted out.

Callie smiled. "A little…actually yes, a lot."

"Glad it's not just me," muttered Erica before taking another sip. What were they doing anyway? Catching up? They had nothing to catch up on. They already knew everything they needed to know about each other.

"So you think your girlfriend has left you, but forgotten to tell you?" asked Callie wanting to return to their earlier conversation.

Erica looked slightly uncomfortable. She wanted to be finished with this particular discussion, but apparently it was a topic Callie did not consider exhausted. There were still things Callie wanted to know. Erica sipped more wine.

"Well, it's Christmas Eve and I haven't heard from her. It's been almost a week since I've heard from her in fact and before that…well let's just say our dates had dwindled."

"I'm sorry," said Callie and Erica thought she meant it.

"It happens," she responded wanting to push thoughts of what Callie meant or didn't mean out of her brain.

"It shouldn't," said Callie putting down her glass again. "Not to you."

Erica was being baited or at least she thought she was being baited.

"Be that as it may, it does and it has." She paused. "More than once," she added.

"I know and I'm sorry," said Callie.

"Stop apologizing," said Erica looking away. She really couldn't handle this, but now they were in it. "Look, Callie, what happened between us… it's in the past. We can't change it, we can't make things different."

"I know," said Callie interrupting her. "That doesn't mean I can't wish for something different."

Erica turned her head slightly. The comment intrigued her.

"Why?" she asked. "Wishing won't make things any different. Talking about it won't either so what's the point? I've moved on, you've moved on, life moves on."

Erica was being a little obstinate and she knew that but she couldn't seem to help it. Didn't Callie realize that the both of them being here was miracle enough? That she hadn't snatched that purse from Callie's hands and bolted was extraordinary, that they had been friendly to the point of wanting to spend time together, simply shocking.

"Because I can't help what I feel," said Callie in an easy tone.

Erica didn't want to know what Callie was feeling. She reached for the wine bottle and filled her glass again.

"So how about you? How are you and Mark doing?" She needed to change the subject a little. She needed to divert attention from herself and remember all the reasons they had not worked out.

"We're good. We're still friends. He's as obnoxious as ever, but that won't come as a surprise. Lexie seems to think she can tame him. She might just…"

"Lexie? Grey's sister?"

"Yep. They've been together almost a year. He seems happy. It's a little odd."

Erica laughed. She laughed hard. "I don't think anyone will change him. I hope you've told her he's a lost cause."

The information was coming in stages to Erica. Her initial reaction had been disbelief that anyone, let alone Grey's sister could tame Mark Sloan, but the implication of Callie's story was slowly seeping in too, despite the haze the wine was creating. Callie and Mark were not an item. She wondered if they had been, but quickly decided she didn't want to know.

"I dated a girl for a bit, but it didn't work out. She wanted to get serious and I didn't, so we parted friends," said Callie in a rush of words.

That was even more shocking than the Mark thing and in lieu of a reaction, Erica took a long sip from her glass. Given what came out of her mouth directly after, she probably should have considered cutting off the wine altogether.

"What the hell? You dated a girl?"

"Yeah, I know," said Callie picking up her own glass and lifting her body off the floor in one fluid motion. She felt a little drunk but very sure of what she was doing. She'd had enough of that soft, dark blue sweater and its enticements. She needed to walk over there and touch it. She walked across the carpeted floor and planted herself right next to Erica reaching around her for the bottle Erica had set down earlier.

Erica's senses were on overload. She felt Callie's body settle next to her and its unbelievable heat as Callie reached around her to lift the wine bottle and pour herself more wine. She did not register anything else but Callie's presence at her side. Callie's revelation and her physical proximity caused a rush of emotions to flood her entire being. Disbelief, shock, anger, hope were all taking turns flipping and twisting various vital organs in her body. She shook her head to try and clear it all out.

"Sorry, the wine…" she didn't finish the thought because she couldn't. She hoped Callie would get the general gist and leave her to her confusion.

Callie put a warm hand on her arm and squeezed. She seemed to be caressing the material of the sweater Erica was wearing, but only for a moment. Very quickly Erica felt Callie's hand drift down toward the wine glass Erica held loosely, wrapping soft strong fingers around Erica's hands and the glass she held.

"You're not in danger of dropping this are you?" asked Callie playfully.

Erica didn't know the answer to that question. She forced her mind to focus on the information Callie had just dropped on her but gripped the glass tighter just in case.

"I'm a little…That's surprising," she finished.

"That you'd be in danger of dropping your glass?" asked Callie in a teasing tone. "Not really, we've had a lot of wine."

Erica smiled half-heartedly, but still looked confused. "What? How?" she managed to get out.

"It's not really that surprising, is it?" questioned Callie chuckling nervously. When Erica's perplexed look did not fade, she turned serious. "I had a very hard time admitting it to myself. When you've been as boy crazy as I've been my whole life, figuring out that you have more of an emotional connection with girls is tough to accept. I didn't want to accept it but eventually, I did. I have."

Her hand was still wrapped around Erica's and the glass. She sought out Erica's eyes. Erica wanted to look away. She didn't want to see what was in Callie's eyes. She didn't want to hope she would see something that was not there. She couldn't do that again.

But despite herself, despite the lingering anger, in amongst the confusion she was feeling, her heart rate picked up its pace and for a few seconds one fact became very clear. It came to her with the same clarity of mind that had been with her the moment she realized she was gay. She could not be in a room with Callie Torres and not want to kiss her. They could never simply be friends. Not in a million years.

She raised the glass to her lips in an effort to temper that realization and effectively remove her hand from Callie's. The touching was too much.

"Congratulations," she said after a long sip. She let the glass dangle between her legs and away from Callie. "I think," she added trying for a teasing tone.

"Thank you," said Callie apparently unfazed by Erica's lazy attempt to put distance between them. She bumped Erica's shoulder softly with hers bringing them into physical contact again. "I'm really glad I ran into you," she said with a smile.

Erica chuckled. She wasn't sure it was the right thing for anyone, but she had to admit she liked being with Callie. Actually, she loved being with Callie and had missed it. The revelation that Callie had decided that she liked girls after all had thrown her, but the wine was lessening the blow.

"Strange circumstances," she said. It was a non-statement, something to fill conversational space while she figured out how to deal with her desire to kiss Callie.

"The best things sometimes come from strange circumstances," replied Callie still in that cheery tone she had adopted a few seconds ago.

"I suppose," said Erica taking another long sip.

She let herself relax against the back of the love seat, the nearly empty glass of wine dangling haphazardly in her fingers.

"Don't you have to get home for Christmas?" she asked.

"My parents are staying at one of their hotels. We're going to be spending Christmas there, so I don't have to be anywhere until noon tomorrow," said Callie happily.

The pitter-patter Erica's heart made at that statement was not good. It was scary. "Oh," was the only thing she could manage to say out loud.

"What about you? What are your plans?" asked Callie.

Erica practically gulped the last bit of wine swirling in her glass. "I'll be at the hospital tomorrow afternoon, so I have all of tomorrow morning to get over the hangover I'm sure I'll be nursing."

Callie laughed. "Don't even try it, Hahn. You're way better than that. You can drink me under the table and that's not easy. A couple of glasses of wine is baby stuff."

Erica could not help but smile at the memories. Their outings, especially in those early days before the awkwardness of romantic entanglements had changed everything, had been memorable. She turned her head to look at Callie as she tried to put on her grown up face.

"Still, we should be practical. It would be wise for the both of us to be sober and not nursing a headache tomorrow."

The problem began with the turning of her head. Actually the problems had begun much earlier: being there with Callie at all, drinking wine too quickly with someone she still found enticing and sexy, having Callie so close she could smell her perfume, remembering those early days when being with Callie had stirred feelings that were new and strange, but so very good. She had never felt as good with anyone as she'd felt with Callie. Letting her eyes linger on Callie's was another big one and it was the thing that seem to tip the scales.

Their eyes held just like they had in the store and like the natural force that governs the surging of the tides, they moved towards each other unconscious of how their breathing had changed, that their hearts were racing, only cognizant of quivering lips and sweet breaths. She felt Callie's relieved sigh in her whole being for a second before everything exploded as their lips touched. Erica's insides were twisting, turning, and bursting all at once and in every direction. Her energy seemed divided between the kiss and concentrating on not bursting into flames. She let her lips move over Callie's relishing the contact, the wetness, the noises Callie was making. She let herself melt into Callie's mouth enjoying every nip, the sweet pressure she felt as Callie moved against her, and when she felt Callie's tongue on her lips, she could do nothing but meet it with her own.

God she missed her. She missed kissing her.

The kiss went on far longer than it should have. It was as if they were both savoring it just in case it would never happen again. In all likelihood it wouldn't. These were extenuating circumstances. They were tipsy if not completely drunk. They were a little lonely and a lot needy. They missed each other.

Erica didn't want to believe that last one. She didn't want Callie to miss her. That was too suggestive of possibility and she couldn't think about that. Callie ran. It's what she did when things became real and Erica knew that with Callie she would want something real. She didn't want momentary pleasures and a satiation of lingering desires. Not from Callie. Yes, they had missed each other, but none of it implied a tomorrow. Tomorrow life would be much as it had been before.

She pulled back, now very conscious of their labored breathing and just how hard it was to pull away from something you wanted so desperately.

"No," protested Callie leaning in to kiss her again. "Don't stop so soon," she finished, her lips brushing Erica's again, wanting to continue.

Erica had never been good at saying no to Callie and so she let the kiss continue enjoying every pass of their lips and tongues. She tasted hints of wine, but the essence was Callie; smells, touch, taste, this was Callie. She set her glass to the side and hoped the wine bottle was either empty or out of the way as she leaned her body forward pulling Callie to her. Callie's body surged toward her until their chests were in full contact. Erica didn't know where this was going. She just knew she could no longer stop it.

Minutes later, they drifted to the floor, side by side, legs and arms entangled with each other, enjoying the slower languid kissing they had transitioned to, knowing all reservations and rational thought had been pushed to the side. The sound of an old fashioned phone ringing jarred the relative quiet of their surroundings and shocked them both. Erica's body jumped as if startled causing her to pull away from Callie quickly. She took a moment to try and tame her hair by running a shaky hand through it as she sat up and declared:

"I think that's me."

She rose from the floor and headed in the direction of the leather jacket she had tossed on the couch searching out pockets as the phone continued to blare. Finally locating it, she it pulled out and stared at the display.

"It's Lisa," she said in a surprised tone.

Callie's heart sank. Lisa must be the "girlfriend." She didn't know what she should say. Part of her wanted to say, leave it and come back here, but that would be…She didn't know what that would be, but it seemed wrong.

"Are you going to answer?" she asked instead.

Erica came to a decision apparently as her fingers swiped and pressed before putting the phone to her ear.

"Hello," she said in a tone so far removed from the mood that had been created earlier that it sounded overly harsh to Callie.

The conversation was one-sided and vague. Too vague for Callie to figure out what was going on.

"No, not really…No, to that too. I don't know...Fine, I'll see you tomorrow." She hit end and then tossed the phone on the couch, standing in front of it with her hands on her hips.

"Everything okay?" asked Callie getting up from her position and trying not to think of her rumpled clothes or the light tingling on her lips.

Erica laughed. "I honestly couldn't tell you what's okay and what's not right now." She was staring at the spot where her phone had landed as if she expected it to come to life and do a little dance.

Callie didn't know what to say, what she should say, if anything. Should she apologize? Should she ask about the phone call? Should they talk about the heavy make-out session they'd just had? Should she leave? She looked to Erica trying to gauge her mood, but she couldn't read her. Not this time.

Erica gave up her staring at the couch and turned to Callie. "It's pretty late. Are you okay to drive or do you want to spend the night?"

Callie hesitated. She still didn't know what to say, but she had spent a lot of her time with Erica not being honest, so after a few seconds of contemplation, she opted for something a little closer to the truth. With a raised eyebrow that displayed a lot more confidence than she felt, she answered.

"I'd like to spend the night."

There was more. She wanted to say more. She wanted to say that she only wanted to spend the night in Erica's bed, naked and writhing, but she chickened out. Erica seemed surprised by her response anyway.

"This is a little strange. The last time I saw you I was walking away from you, I thought forever and now…You're here…" She let her eyes glance at the space on the floor where only minutes earlier they had been on their way to long languid explorations of each other's bodies. "It's all so…unbelievable. Are you sure that's what you want?"

"Are you?" asked Callie not entirely sure what she was referring to or whether they were on the same page at this point.

"No," said Erica. "No, I'm not." She smiled as if to soften the rejection.

This was too fast. Callie knew that. It was Christmas, a time for miracles, but this one was a little too much to ask. She couldn't stay here. Erica was confused as it was, her presence would not help matters and while in some respects that was a welcome thought because it meant that Erica wanted her, tonight was not the right time. She didn't know if there would ever be a right time, if she could ever convince Erica to take a chance on her again, but she did know that it would never happen if she spent the night.

"I'll call a cab," she said and went in search of her phone.

"Callie," she heard Erica call.

She found her phone and turned her attention to Erica. "Yeah?"

"Thank you," said Erica.


	5. Chapter 5

TITLE: For Old Time's Sake

AUTHOR: rcruz

_Disclaimer: If I owned them, things would look a lot different. The characters, settings, established histories, and general Grey's Anatomy universe referenced in this work are properties of their respective owners. This is a work of fiction for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended._

Chapter 5

The next morning Callie took another cab to pick up her car on her way to her family's Christmas. She wasn't feeling the effects of last night's alcohol too badly. As she suspected, they had consumed quite a bit more on other occasions. Still, she was not feeling great. She had hardly slept, her thoughts occupied with the night before. She had laid in bed going over every interaction, replaying each conversation and letting her mind conjure their make-out session in great detail. She let her body and mind immerse itself in those moments until she was wrapped in a bubble of tingly-ness and warmth. That should have been enough to induce sleep, but her mind's narrative did not stop with the make-out session. It continued right on through to Lisa's ill-timed call and the abrupt end to the night. Those thoughts caused her mood to darken and the tossing and turning to start. Suddenly doubts and uncertainty mixed in with everything else making it hard to think clearly about anything. She lay there trying to persuade herself that leaving had been the right thing to do and was almost swayed by that argument before the second-guessing began and in no time at all she was convinced that she had done everything wrong. But before she could get too depressed about the whole situation, she would start thinking about everything from its beginnings again. She had spent a good part of the night in that loop.

She sighed as she started her car and spared a glance at Erica's window. She wondered if Erica was still in bed. What had happened with this Lisa person? Had she come over? Was she there now? She considered ringing the bell just to say Merry Christmas, but the Lisa complication and a desire to get through Christmas day with a little hope that last night had not been meaningless kept her in her car and eventually propelled her in the direction of the hotel where her parents were waiting. Last night was a fluke. She didn't think it would happen again. She had made monumental mistakes over and over again with Erica until she had driven her very far away. You don't come back from that easily and she had no expectations of that. Still hope was something different and last night had given her a little tiny bit of it. She wanted to get through Christmas with that hope, no matter how small, still intact.

After all not having expectations had worked out for her last night. She'd had no expectations of meeting Erica when she ventured out on a desperate shopping excursion. She never imagined that she would be spending Christmas Eve in front of a fire sipping really good wine with the most beautiful woman in the world seated across from her. She had not expected to kiss her. No, not having expectations did not mean you could not have hope. That thought made her smile. She glanced in the rearview mirror one last time before turning off Erica's street and onto the main drag that would take her to the hotel.

* * *

Erica did not want to wake up. She had been having fairly nice dreams that were difficult to leave behind by coming to full consciousness. They did not involve Lisa, but that did not make the fact that Lisa was probably on her way over any less true. Sadly that meant Erica had to get out of her nice warm bed. With a frustrated sigh she pulled back the covers and swung her feet outward and onto the carpeted floor.

The first thing she took note of was the pounding in her head that seemed to spread to the rest of her body as soon as she was upright. She forced herself to the bathroom in search of pain pills. Her mind went to thoughts of Callie and how she had woken that morning. She had probably fared better than Erica who had been drinking wine like it was water. She found the pain pills in the cabinet of her bathroom and opened them quickly. She needed to quell the pounding. She needed to have it together when Lisa came around. She was fairly certain they were breaking up and she needed to not look like a mess. If she had a fault, and she didn't like to think of her faults, it might be pride. She was damned if she would leave Lisa with the impression that she was more upset about their break-up than she was. A year ago, she had walked away from Callie rather than expose herself in that way. This thing with Lisa was miles apart from that, but the need to walk away on her own terms was just as strong.

She popped the pills in her mouth, not bothering with water and decided a shower would help clear the cobwebs and fuzz. She would hydrate later. Showers tended to make you look and feel brand new and right now, that was exactly what she was craving.

Her shower was quick. It had to be as thoughts of Callie and last night were too frequent. The steam and hot water did the trick, relaxing her entire body so fully that her brain was letting its guard down. Thoughts of Callie swirled and swirled as water cascaded down her back. She thought about how random it had been for them to be at the same store, at the same time, reaching for the same item. Except for the conference in which she'd had just a glance of Callie, Erica had never run into her. It hadn't surprised her. The good thing about cities was that you could lose yourself in them and she had. She had yet to see one of her former collogues from Seattle Grace in anything but a professional setting. She didn't see Shepherd at the local coffee shop, had never run into Sloan at a bar or been bombarded by Yang at a local restaurant. You could do that in a city and she liked it that way. Callie however, was a different story. She thought she would regret what happened once morning rolled around, but she found herself enjoying the pleasant haze last night's memories created. It filled and invaded her like the steam filling the room. It felt good and she couldn't quite help that. It had been nice to be around Callie again. No, it was better than nice. It felt fantastic.

It was the realization that she felt _really_ fantastic that finally got her out of the shower. She could not think like that. She could not think of Callie and how wonderful Callie made her feel. That was how her life had gotten messed up the last time. She had shown up on Seattle Grace's front door full of confidence, bravado, and energy. She wanted to kick ass there, to bust up the little boys club they had going. She relished the opportunity to prove herself in yet another setting where people thought she couldn't compete, but she had left feeling like a failure with her tail tucked between her knees, barely managing to contain the sprint she had wanted to take out of there.

She managed it though; had _walked_ away from Callie and the mess that was Seattle Grace. She had picked up the shreds of her career and made herself anew until Seattle Grace seemed like a mere detour. She would have rather taken the direct road, but sometimes the detours were useful. She had learned something important from Callie and her experience at Seattle Grace. Good feelings cloud good judgment. Always. And that was how she managed out of the shower and away from thoughts of Callie Torres and what she might be doing right now. She would not allow the good feelings awakened last night to make her stupid again. Detours were fine, but you didn't need to take all of them. Sometimes you had to go straight through to your destination potholes and rough gravel and all because the point was the journey's end. She liked where she was even if the whole Lisa thing was a mess. She didn't need another jolt of Callie's happy to take her off course and so she needed to stop thinking about her and what had happened last night.

She dressed quickly, cleaned up the mess from the night before and had timed it so perfectly that Lisa arrived just as she was putting away her last dry dish.

_Merry fucking Christmas_, she thought to herself, before setting down the dishtowel and going to the door.

* * *

Callie was having fun. She really was. She was just distracted. She was finding it hard to concentrate on what was going on around her. As a result, she kept asking her parents to repeat the last thing they had said, which seemed to be annoying her father and amusing her mother. She couldn't help it. As wonderful as it was to have them here for Christmas and as much as she wanted to forget about last night and focus attention solely on her parents, she couldn't. Thoughts and feelings she had kept at bay for a year were running laps in her head. Yesterday Erica and any thought of her had been relegated to the background. She still thought about her, but those feelings were filtered through a lens of desire for what could have been, laced with resigned regret about things lost and mistakes made. But the intense feelings she was experiencing today were different and she was finding those hard to ignore. It was as if last night had triggered something that had been dormant, but once stirred could not be stopped. It was the hamster wheel in a dark corner that had suddenly sprung to life into perpetual motion.

Her thoughts ranged from the questioning ones about what exactly had transpired last night and the implications, to the pure unadulterated sexy ones at what could have happened and almost, just nearly did. In between, she found herself feeling guilty about the soon to be ex-girlfriend. At least she hoped that's where that was headed. It certainly seemed so last night, but it was Christmas. Maybe Erica would have a change of heart or maybe the girl would start showing some appreciation for what she had.

When her father snapped at her as she asked him to repeat his question for the third time that morning, she knew she had to find a way to deal with her wandering mind. Deciding it was the not knowing that was driving her to distraction, she resolved to send Erica a message. Calling seemed too forward, but a text message might be perfect. Erica could choose to respond or not and either way she might get some clarity as to where they stood, if anywhere. Composing that message however, had her mind distracted differently.

They'd had a light Christmas breakfast delivered by the hotel staff and then conceded to opening some small gifts, even though official Christmas would start later when her brother and his family arrived. Her mother had loved the purse. It was just like her to love the gift that had cost the least amount of money. Her mother was always telling her that wealth came from saving, not spending. Her father was built of a slightly different cloth. He liked spending. He liked spending on loved ones, but he also liked spending just because he could. Having grown up in the squalid neighborhoods of Little Havana, he knew what it meant to deny yourself something and he didn't like it. It was why he had worked so hard, he repeated to both of his children over and over. You work hard so that you can enjoy life. Money made the enjoying easier.

Callie was the mean between her parents. She wasn't entirely wasteful. She knew how to save money. She had worked her way through college for extra spending money when her mother had put a cap on her allowance, but she was not about to say no if her father offered her a car like he had when she graduated from high school. She agreed with him. Money made life easier. At the same time she could appreciate her mother's perspective. If you didn't save, you would have no wealth. She knew that all too well. A year ago her father had been so angry and hurt about her newly announced "lifestyle" that he had withheld the one thing he associated with love: money. It had only lasted a short time, but it was enough to make Callie appreciate the satisfaction of earning your own money and not being beholden to someone else. It had been a hard lesson.

Today things with her parents were less tense. Her father had come to terms with her sexuality in his own way. He didn't ask about her love life, but he no longer condemned her for it. When she introduced him to Arizona, he had been polite and civilized. When she told him they had broken up, he had been just as polite and civilized with her. He expressed regret, but did not ask Callie for the particulars. Her mother had done a lot of praying at the beginning, but one day, and Callie often wished she knew what had triggered it, she stopped. She called Callie, told her she loved her and then joined an advocacy group made up mostly of parents of gay kids. She'd heard that from her brother who had been just as shocked as Callie at the about face.

And now they were here for Christmas. She and her mother were at the table wrapping gifts for her nephews. Her father had gone to check on some hotel business. Her brother would be arriving later.

"So, are you dating?" her mother asked from the table.

That was the newest development. In recent months, Callie's mother had expressed a weird interest in her love life. The question did not catch Callie entirely off guard, but she was having a hard time coming up with an answer, so she remained silent.

Her mother's eyes lit up. "You met someone!" she exclaimed.

It was definitely a declaration, not a question. Callie felt the need to correct her, but didn't know how to do that either. She had met someone, but not really. It could be something, but it could also be her imagination. She hoped, but she couldn't be sure. And maybe it was all just her wishful thinking, a regret turned outward by a pure chance meeting that, like a mirage in the desert, seemed to hold promise; an oasis of water that exists only in the eyes of the dehydrated desert dwellers of fiction. She couldn't be sure and so she merely smiled at her mother but offered no details.

"What's she like? How did you meet? How long have you been seeing her? Did you invite her for Christmas dinner?"

"She's working," she said and hoped that would be the end of it. It was as truthful as she could get and even she admitted that the implication of her answer was dishonest. Erica was not her girlfriend. Nowhere near it. She had no expectations that Erica would have accepted such an invitation even if Callie had made it, but she wasn't ready to tell the full truth yet. The story of Erica and Callie was complicated and long and frankly she didn't want to tell it until she knew the ending.

"Is she a surgeon like you?" her mother persisted.

"Yes," said Callie not looking up. Now that she had started, she regretted ever answering. Her mother was going to continue to push her.

"Does she work at the hospital?"

"No," she said ignoring the plea in her mother's voice for more details.

Her mother was silent. Thankful for the reprieve Callie raised her head to meet her mother's eyes. They were smiling right along with the rest of her as she happily folded wrapping paper. The look of contentment was enough to make Callie feel like her mother should be humming a cheerful tune. Her wishful thinking had apparently spread to her mother and she wasn't quite sure why, or how comfortable she was with that.

Ten minutes before her brother was scheduled to arrive, she still had not sent Erica a text. She had composed a hundred messages in her head and stopped and started to actually type some of them at least a dozen times, but she always ended up dismissing each one as inadequate for one reason or another. The words were clear in her head, but once she saw the sentences in stark black and white on her phone, they looked all wrong.

She had tried a simple message: "I hope you are enjoying your Christmas," but dismissed it as too generic. She considered: "It was good to see you, I had a great time last night, let's get together again," but frowned when she realized it sounded like she was looking for a booty call. She had even typed, "I miss you, I still love you" a number of times before slowly deleting each letter, feeling an inexplicable pang in her gut as she did so. Her idea was good, but the implementation however was flawed since she was at a loss as to the message she should send. It was late afternoon now. Erica would start work soon if she wasn't there already and Callie still had no message to send. She sighed in frustration as she stared at her phone. Maybe she was over thinking the message. It did not need to be profound or earth shattering. Maybe there was nothing wrong with simple. Maybe a simple declaration of caring and a hopeful statement about wanting to stay in touch was all that was required. But how do you word that without sounding desperate and crazy? She didn't know and at this point she was starting to feel desperate and crazy, so she doubted she would be able to come up with something suitable that _didn't_ sound absolutely insane.

She sighed as she locked her phone letting it fall in her lap.

"Are you waiting for a call, mija?"

She looked up at her mother who had not stopped smiling all day.

"Not exactly," she said grabbing her phone and picking herself up from the couch. "Do you need help with anything?" she asked wanting to change the subject.

"You could help me figure out what has my daughter bouncing between smiles and frowns."

"What?" asked Callie. She hadn't realized she'd been that transparent.

"You'll tell me when you're ready. I'm not trying to get in your business."

Callie slumped back down on the couch. "There's nothing to tell…yet."

"Nothing? You don't get distracted by nothing."

Callie sighed. "It's something, but…I'm just not sure it will turn into the something I want or the something I don't."

"Ay mija! Stop being so complicated!"

Callie smiled. "Love is complicated, Ma."

"So, it's love?"

Callie couldn't help the smile. It was love. She still loved Erica. She had never stopped. "It is," she answered simply and then unlocked her phone. It didn't get any simpler than that.


	6. Chapter 6

TITLE: For Old Time's Sake

AUTHOR: rcruz

_Disclaimer: If I owned them, things would look a lot different. The characters, settings, established histories, and general Grey's Anatomy universe referenced in this work are properties of their respective owners. This is a work of fiction for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended._

_Author's Note: Posted this in a hurry, so sorry for any mistakes._

Chapter 6

In the late evening hours after massive amounts of specially cooked Cuban and Mexican food had been consumed, after all the gifts had been opened and her nephews' energy spent, Callie sat on the couch in the tiny makeshift living room of the hotel suite her family was staying in, content to sip her rum and coke in a leisurely fashion. It warmed her throat as it went down and then spread heat throughout her body making her feel relaxed and safe. This is what Christmas was about, feeling loved, and relaxed and safe. She was staring at the fire her father had insisted on starting earlier trying to ignore the fact that her phone had been silent all day.

She had sent what she thought was a simple message hours earlier and then waited.

_I never stopped loving you._

It was really that simple.

It was late now. Her parents were already in bed. They had gone to bed in the large bedroom that now also held a small tent belonging to her brother's boys, a gift from their _abuelos_ they had insisted on trying out right away. She wondered briefly who had ended up in the tent. There was every possibility that her father was currently snoring on the floor of the tent he had purchased for two little boys, his bare feet sticking out of the front comically.

"So, are you spending the night here or going back home?" said a voice from the doorway that led to the other bedroom in the suite. She turned her head to see her brother slowly and quietly closing the door to the room where his wife was sleeping.

He was still dressed. Even though it was late and his wife and kids had happily donned pjs after dinner so as to enjoy romping around the hotel room better, he had not, choosing to remain in his pressed designer jeans, polished shoes and smart button-down tailored shirt. Her brother was tall and good-looking. She often imagined that he would not be out of place in an Abercrombie & Fitch advertisement. Like her, Rey had inherited their mother's olive skin and caramel colored eyes. He had a full head of floppy dark hair that made him look younger than he was and he worked out obsessively. He ran, she didn't know how many miles a day, and yet still found time for the gym. He was meticulous about his clothes and unashamed that the number of hair products he bought for himself rivaled his wife's purchases. He was a little strange, but she loved him, even if he didn't quite fit the mold of the macho man their father wanted him to be.

"I haven't decided yet," she answered as he took a seat next to her.

"You were quiet tonight," he commented mimicking her pose on the couch.

"I was enjoying everyone. Thank you for coming. It was a nice surprise."

"It was a nice Christmas," he said his eyes glued to the fire as if it was a mesmerizing force. "So why so melancholy?" he asked his eyes still on the fire.

"What?" she asked taking her own gaze away from it and focusing it on him. "What do you mean?"

"You seem sad," he said finally looking at her.

"No," she said quickly. "I'm enjoying myself. Sometimes I'm just quiet."

He chuckled and crossed his arms in front of him. "You are not quiet. Don't even try going there with me. I lived with you."

"Hey, I can be quiet," she said, but couldn't quite pull off the offended indignation she was going for.

She was turning her phone over and over in her hand willing it to come to life. She had been doing that all night, but it was having no impact. The phone was dead silent.

"So, who are we waiting for?" he asked smiling at her before returning his gaze to the fire.

"No one," she said. "_WE_ are not waiting for anyone."

"Okay fine, who are _you_ waiting for?" he said with a nod toward the phone in her hand.

She remained silent considering her options. She could try to put him off, but he was worse than her mother when it came to pushing.

"A girl?" he persisted in a slightly childish tone that reminded her of the teasing they did as kids.

She had to smile. "Yes, a girl," she said in the same tone.

"Who is she?"

She had never told her family about Erica. It had started and ended before she was comfortable with any of it so there had been no time and eventually no point in telling them. Even now, she wasn't sure how much she wanted to tell. She already felt like she had shared too much with her mother, but then again, her mother had guessed most of it. She opted for sticking to as much of the truth as she could.

"She's someone I used to work with."

"Cute?"

She smiled into her glass. "Very."

"So what's your type? I'm guessing blonde, but that's just based on the one girl. Do you even have a type?"

"She's blonde," she answered although she didn't think she had a type.

"Bingo! So is she going to call?"

She sighed and looked at her phone. "I don't know."

* * *

Erica was signing out. She'd had no surgeries today. Instead she'd been stuck in the ER treating relatively minor holiday related injuries. She knew tomorrow would be worse. The day after Christmas was the day everyone showed up with sprained ankles, strange chest pains or worse. No one wanted to be in the ER on Christmas day. She couldn't blame them really. No matter how many decorations went up, no matter how bright the hallways or how upturned the smiles, a hospital was a dreary place to end up on Christmas. She finished the last of the required paperwork and set the pen down hard before pushing away from the counter and heading for the locker rooms.

She glanced at the clock as she entered the small impersonal room.

10:45 PM.

Christmas would be over in a little over an hour if you measured the event by time. She didn't necessarily, but couldn't help the sense of deflation she felt anyway at its approaching end. It wasn't that she was a big fan of the holiday. She didn't wear ridiculous sweaters with kittens tangled in tinsel. She didn't play Christmas music all season long. She had never put up a tree. Still, it had been her family's favorite holiday and she associated it with people she loved and cared about. Not even this morning's little episode with Lisa could damper the pleasant associations she felt with the holiday.

She changed quickly, grabbed her bag and headed for the door. She was inches away when it exploded inward causing her to jump back in alarm.

"Oh, hello. Sorry didn't think anyone was in here," said the woman who had been trying to enter as Erica exited.

It was the short, fiery, redheaded nurse that assisted in most of Erica's surgeries. She was bubbly, excitable, and talked incessantly to anyone who would listen. Naturally, Erica found her irritating.

"I was just leaving," said Erica moving to the side and clearing a path so the woman could enter the room unobstructed.

Her name was Vonda and while she was one of the better surgical nurses, she was entirely too friendly to everyone for Erica's comfort. She had character; Erica would give her that. Her style of dress changed with her mood or the winds or God knows what. Some days, Vonda looked like a throwback of the seventies wearing flowery dresses, or long flowing skirts with big blouses and ridiculous scarves. Other days, you would think she had no fashion sense at all as she walked around in jeans that were too large for her and hooded sweatshirts with various school logos. That was strange. It was not consistently one school. Erica could appreciate school spirit. She still had quite a few Johns Hopkins t-shirts, but this woman had a collection. Sometimes it was LSU, other days it was Northwestern, occasionally she threw in a random University of Wisconsin shirt. She once considered asking the woman just how many schools she had attended, but as was often the case with Vonda, Erica's fear of getting embroiled in a long incessant chatter session always made her re-think. Most days, it was best not to engage Vonda.

Vonda let the door swing shut behind her but stood smack in the middle still blocking Erica's exit.

"Nice hot bath or hot date waiting for ya?" she asked.

Erica frowned. She hated this crap. She hated all the pretense of friendliness. Why did people feel the need to engage each other in nonsensical conversation? Erica was of the mind that the world would be a much more productive place if we just did away with social niceties. She wasn't interested in Vonda's life and she was pretty sure Vonda didn't give a rat's ass about hers. Erica had managed to convince her peers of the virtue of economizing speech when it came to her and the residents and interns were too scared to try and engage her, but Vonda seemed to be a separate issue. She was unfazed by Erica's gruffness or bitchiness. In fact, at times she seemed completely immune to it. She talked to Erica much as she did everyone else, ignoring Erica's irritation with her. Sometimes Erica wondered if it even mattered whom Vonda was talking to. Vonda seemed to just like to talk and other people's discomfort was simply not a consideration.

"Neither," she offered as an answer to Vonda's ridiculous question. She crossed her arms and let out a frustrated sigh, hoping the woman would just move.

Vonda leaned against the door and crossed her own arms. "Lonely night? A little frustrated?" she asked in a slightly teasing tone.

"Vonda, what makes you think we're friends?" asked Erica in an exasperated tone.

"Darling, you can push everyone else away, but I'm like a gnat. I do not go away. Now what has you all flustered? You've been more irritable today than my bowels after a Chili cook out."

"That's disgusting."

"Don't worry darling, whatever it is will work itself out."

"Thanks for the bumper sticker philosophy. Can you please move?"

"I will just as soon as you say something nice," said Vonda in her cheerful voice.

Erica stared at her for a few seconds. "You're annoying."

Vonda smiled. "That's not nice." She waited as if expecting something further from Erica. "I'm also adorable," she said with an exaggerated fluttering of eyelashes. "You could start there."

Erica groaned inwardly cursing her inability to fake nice. She was on the verge of blurting out any old compliment, maybe something about Vonda's shoes, when Vonda interrupted her thoughts.

"Okay, since nothing nice is coming out of your mouth, we can talk about other things. What's going on with that so-called girlfriend of yours? You break up with her yet?"

"What girlfriend?" said Erica, her senses on alert. She could appreciate that Vonda liked to talk, but Erica did not like gossip – especially about herself.

"Oh come on, she used to call you about a thousand times a day. All of a sudden your shifts are stress free. No calls? What gives? Did you all finally break-up? I swear I thought you would have done that by now, with that fight you had in the lobby."

Erica cringed internally at the memory of Lisa's temper tantrum of a few weeks ago.

"It's none of your business," she said.

"Hey don't blame me, she brought it here when y'all had it out in the lobby," said Vonda.

Vonda was right. Lisa had violated her number one rule to not bring her personal life into her professional one on the day she had marched into the hospital angry as a raging bull at their canceled plans. The incident had occurred not that long ago and while Erica had forgotten it, apparently it was still news at the hospital. Erica had been called in on an emergency surgery and had to regretfully cancel the dinner plans they'd had that night. She had no idea it would cause so much drama especially at the hospital, where Lisa headed upon receiving Erica's message. At about the time Erica was attending to a 76 year-old grandmother's very weak heart, Lisa was harassing the hospital staff about her whereabouts. When Erica finally showed up in the lobby where Lisa had been ordered to wait, she found a seething woman ready to explode. Lisa did not hold back. She laid into Erica before Erica knew anything was wrong, but when Erica's steely silence met Lisa's loud accusations, Lisa seemed to think better of her position and stormed out.

They had never really talked about the incident. Erica called her the next morning, with cold steel still in her voice. She had spoken four words: "Don't do that again." Lisa apologized and they had tried to move on. Erica should have known then that things were doomed. After all it was shortly after that incident that their dates and even their communications seemed to wane.

Vonda was right, but Erica didn't need to admit that to her. She tried feigning indifference, adjusting her shoulder strap and pulling her phone out of her jacket to turn it on. It was not much of a distraction as evident by the fact that Vonda was still staring at her.

"I didn't ask for her to bring our business here," Erica said a little testily.

"So, come out with it. What's going on with the two of you?" Vonda asked with a raised eyebrow.

Vonda was out of line. She knew nothing of Erica's life, despite her protests to the contrary or her attempts at friendship. Erica didn't make friends in hospitals.

"I appreciate your concern, Vonda, but no matter how adorable you think you're being, you're coming dangerously close to a line I don't cross with colleagues. Be careful."

"Aw come on, girlfriend. I know there's a human being in there somewhere. If you're rid of her, good riddance, if you're not, you might consider it. She sounds like more trouble than she's worth."

Erica sighed in exasperation. She wanted out of this room. She wanted to go home, pour a glass of wine and forget about the fact that this day was supposed to mean something.

"Vonda, make it a nice Christmas and let me go."

"Alright, you're free to go, but promise me you'll find something redeeming in this day. It's Christmas!" said Vonda, slowly removing her body from the door.

Erica's phone chose that moment to update itself. Thankful that the ding gave her a reason to end this conversation quickly, she turned her attention to the phone and even managed to mutter an "Excuse me" to Vonda as she powered through the door and stepped out into the hall. Reception was crappy at the hospital. She had a few text messages probably Christmas wishes from her family.

She navigated to her messages as she walked. She had four texts. One was probably from her mother, the other two from siblings, she guessed. The fourth was a mystery. She had no idea who else would be sending her a message on Christmas. She went to the familiar ones first and could not help but smile at the genuine sentiments. By the time she opened the last message she was in the parking lot. She stopped in her tracks. It was from Callie. Callie's number shouldn't be anywhere near her phone, but of course they had communicated via cell phone last night, so . . . Callie's number was there and now Erica had a message from her. She stared at it trying to imagine what it could be and stood there long enough that the unthinkable happened.

Vonda caught up with her.

She felt a warm presence at her back as she stood, still staring at her phone.

"Girlfriend?" asked Vonda from over Erica's shoulder.

Erica ignored her and started to walk away. She would not open a message from Callie in front of Vonda.

Vonda debated going after her. She knew she was pushing, but she couldn't seem to help it. She refused to believe that anyone could be as unpleasant and miserable as Erica Hahn seemed to be. Deciding she had pushed as much as she could today, she hung back and just watched a frowning Erica trying to find her car. Despite all her teasing, she did not think the girlfriend, or hopefully ex-girlfriend, was what had the good doctor all flustered. No, she didn't think the brunette with the long straight hair that had driven the nurses crazy asking after Erica on that infamous night had ever produced this type of reaction in Erica. Erica always seemed impatient and bothered by those phone calls and text messages. She could be wrong. Maybe all those annoying calls were from Erica's mother, but Vonda didn't think so. Erica had never denied that it was a girlfriend when Vonda had asked point blank. She hadn't confirmed it either, but not denying it was a pretty big indicator. At least Vonda thought so. Dr. Hahn might be a lot of things, but she wasn't dishonest. Vonda would bet good money that something entirely different was going on now. Dr. Hahn seemed perplexed and perhaps, just maybe, a little excited? She smiled as she watched her. She hoped it was something good. Dr. Hahn deserved a little bit of happiness and after the ugly scene in the hospital of a few weeks ago, Vonda was sure she would not find it with the annoying brunette. She thought it was over when the doctor had stopped receiving so many calls, but as with most things related to Dr. Hahn, her ideas were pure conjecture. She could only guess.

* * *

Erica's mind was trying to focus on exactly where she had parked her car this morning. She needed to get in her car and go home. She would worry about Callie's message later, after a glass of wine or maybe two. She'd had a less than ideal morning, although in truth, not too bad. It had been almost clinical. Lisa showed up, was polite, acknowledged what they both knew and then left. If they had ended the whole transaction with a handshake it would not have surprised Erica. She was glad it was over. She finally found her car and settled into the driver's seat. Her phone was still in her hand.

To look or not?

She delayed a while longer as she put on her seat belt and pretended to adjust mirrors. Finally she placed the keys in the ignition, felt the whir of the car under her as she turned it on and turned her attention back to the phone. She pondered for a bit.

"Fuck it," she said to herself. It would drive her crazy to wait until she got home to open the message. With a little apprehension and a lot of nervousness, she took a deep breath and unlocked her phone.


	7. Chapter 7

TITLE: For Old Time's Sake

AUTHOR: rcruz

_Disclaimer: If I owned them, things would look a lot different. The characters, settings, established histories, and general Grey's Anatomy universe referenced in this work are properties of their respective owners. This is a work of fiction for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended._

_Author's Note: We are coming to a resolution, just a few more chapters to go. Thanks again to those of you who have taken the time to review and yes, this story has been written and is complete. I'm just doing last minute edits as I post each chapter. _

Chapter 7

"You don't know?"

Rey repeated Callie's statement back to her in the form of a question. He gave her a quizzical look before standing up and making his way to the rum and coke sitting on a tray near the fire and began preparing a drink.

"You need a refill?" he asked with a nod in the direction of her glass.

She declined the offer with a slight shake of her head. His question had made her aware once again of the flutters in her stomach. Not the good ones, the bad ones that showed up when doom was looming nearby. She had been feeling them all night.

"Now, please explain everything," he said as he made his way back to the couch.

She waited until she felt the depression in the cushions that signaled his return before turning away from the fire. He waited patiently swooshing the drink around in its glass. When she didn't elaborate any further, he relaxed into the couch, holding the drink very loosely in his lap like he had when they were both in college and he was still trying to be so very suave. It was enough of a distraction. She smiled at the memory of the many conversations they'd had with the two of them in just these positions; her serious, contemplative and melodramatic and him relaxed and at ease, drink in hand. They had been close once, very close.

He had heard about more boyfriend dramas than he probably cared to and while they had drifted apart after college, when she went off to medical school and didn't have time for anything or anyone and he finally buckled down and concentrated on the CPA he wanted to get, she still felt close to him. Here they were, after so many years in the same positions; he once again poised to hear about her love life and she ready to tell him. Family and careers had put distance between them, but he was still her brother and friend and tonight she was grateful for both.

"I told her I still loved her," she said.

"Still?" he questioned, mimicking her raised eyebrow but not quite accomplishing the same effect she did.

She smiled again despite the mad fury of the flutters in her stomach. They had started about the time she sent the text and with each passing hour they had only gotten worse. The rum and coke she had poured before he walked in was an attempt at controlling them. She didn't know if talking about it would make the flutters better or worse, but she couldn't take the nervousness she was feeling. She needed to talk to someone.

"Remember how I told you there had been another girl before Arizona?"

He nodded, taking a slow sip from his drink and grimacing as it went down.

She chuckled. "Too strong for you?"

"Just a little," he said. "I'm not used to the intensity, but it feels good. Most intense things make you wince a little, but…" he shrugged, "we go in anyway, right? It's usually worth it."

She shook her head, "Okay, whatever. I'm sure you'll change your mind when that headache says hello tomorrow morning."

He took a bigger sip, made another face and then sat up. "Continue," he said a little above the whispered tones they had been using.

She hesitated for a few seconds to take another sip of her drink before continuing.

"I fell in love. I fell so hard for her. I was totally madder-than-a-crazy-cat-in-heat in love with her. But because I'm me, I screwed it up and hurt her and she left."

Rey blinked once. "Okay, like what did you do? Could she have forgiven you?"

"I cheated," she said solemnly.

"Oh," he responded.

He had been cheated on. It was a sore subject for him and probably another reason why she had never even thought of talking to him about Erica when the drama was unfolding a year ago. He was silent. She waited unsure if he would want to hear the rest of it. Finally he spoke.

"So you broke up?" he asked.

It was a major concession. He was willing to talk about some of it, even gave her the benefit of the doubt in asking the question in the way he did. It was neutral and avoided assigning responsibility. But there would be limits. He wasn't exactly asking what had happened, only asking her to acknowledge a fact.

"Yes," she said.

"And you're still in love with her?"

"Yes," she acknowledged a little more confidently. Of that fact, she was very sure.

"And you told her, just out of the blue?"

Now things were clearer. He was willing to talk about recent events, but did not want to hear about what had come before.

"I ran into her yesterday. It was the first time in a year we talked. We ended up at her place sharing a bottle of wine."

"Wow, you move fast," he said trying to suppress a smirk.

"Nothing happened," she added. "Well…not exactly nothing, but we didn't…you know."

He stopped suppressing the smirk and just gave into it before taking a gulp of his drink.

"What'd she say?"

"Nothing, she hasn't responded."

"So, wait you told her you still loved her and she just sat there and said nothing?"

"Well, I didn't tell her in person. I only sent the text a few hours ago."

He almost choked on his drink. His jaw dropped, but he gathered it back up, downed the remainder of his rum and coke, snatched her not empty glass out of her hands and stood up to prepare refills. "Lame," he said as he poured, "so very lame!"

"I haven't seen her in a year! Did you expect me to do it last night?! I was surprised as hell she even agreed to have a drink with me!" she protested.

"Lame!" he repeated a little louder as he returned her glass and retook his spot on the couch.

She could smell more rum than coke in her drink and smiled. Slow sips would be the order of the night.

"You have to make a big gesture," he said spreading his arms wide. "You have to do something dramatic. Seriously? A text message?" he shook his head clearly disappointed. "Lame!"

She smiled at his dramatics. "Like what? You want me to stand outside her window with a boom box over my head?"

He leaned forward excitedly, "Yes! Exactly," he said pointing his drink at her. "That's what you need to do. If you still love her, you need to show her."

She looked at him as realization dawned that he was quite drunk. The wine from earlier had probably contributed to that. She had only had a glass herself, but had not noticed how many he'd had. Given his reaction to the rum and coke, he'd probably had quite a few glasses at dinner.

"Standing outside her door disturbing her neighbors is not showing her," she said staring at her own drink. Jesus, it was strong. She needed to watch herself.

He shrugged. "Maybe not, but a damn text message certainly doesn't say, I want you back." He tilted his head questioningly. "You do want her back, right?"

"Yes," she said sitting up a little straighter.

She did want Erica back. She hadn't allowed herself to think that far ahead all day. It was like her brain reached a certain point and then turned back, unwilling to take the next logical step. Last night had been wonderful. She had wanted it, had wanted to be with Erica, but not just for that night. She wanted that every night. That's why she had left last night. Staying would have made things too confusing and would have lessened the possibility that they could have that every night rather than make it more real. She wanted the forever and she wanted it for real. She wanted Erica and as scary as it was, she needed to know if it was possible to reclaim what they'd had. She needed to take that next step even if it meant plunging off a cliff.

"I know it's scary. Things might not work out like you want them to, but if she's worth it, when something is worth it, you do whatever it takes, right?" offered Rey.

She nodded her assent. She hadn't known that before, but she knew it now. When something is worth it, it's worth everything, even leaping off cliffs.

"Is she worth it?" he repeated.

"Ten times over," she responded without hesitation.

He smiled. "Then do something big, little sister. Do something big."

* * *

Erica sat in her car contemplating the message she had just read. It had been a mistake to read it before she got home. She didn't know how to respond or even if she should. There was no denying that Callie had been on her mind all day. It would have been more natural for the thing with Lisa to be what occupied her thoughts, but that had been more like dealing with a pesky mosquito. Once she swatted and killed it, it had gone right out of her mind. The only thing that had perked her more reflective side about the break-up was the fact that Lisa had done it on Christmas day. Who does that on Christmas day? She'd had that thought a few times throughout the day before deciding that she was probably lucky Lisa had ended things. The woman was obviously insane. Who knows what antics Erica would have been opening herself up to had she done the breaking up? Regardless, it was over and done with it.

The thing with Callie however, seemed open. She had gone back over the events of the previous night again and again trying to explain the incident. Early in her shift she had blamed the wine for letting their natural physical attraction override their senses. Later she had tried the "for old time's sake" explanation on for size. It didn't fit. Toward the end, she decided that the holiday was to blame. Christmas always had a nostalgic component to it. Memories were a part of it and they had simply let theirs get carried away because neither of them had expected to see each other and, to a certain extent, relive those memories for a night. That was it.

But the text message complicated that explanation.

_I never stopped loving you._

Erica had long ago decided that Callie Torres had not loved her at all. Yes, this complicated everything. She couldn't handle it. She needed to get home. She set the phone down on the seat beside her and told herself to concentrate on driving home. She looked up.

_Son of bitch!_

Flakes had started covering her car. It didn't look heavy from where she was sitting, but Seattle did not do well with the powdery substance, even if it was relatively light. At least she had something to concentrate on to distract her. She put the car in drive, stepped off the brake, and nothing happened. She looked down confused. Suddenly she felt her car shudder and then…die.

* * *

Callie was driving. She had left her drunken brother still nursing a drink. Hopefully his wife would wake up and join his party of one. Drinking alone sucked.

She was in her warm car, very slowly making her way to Erica's townhouse. It had started snowing the moment the engine in her car turned over, so she was moving slow and steady. Her brother was right. She needed to do something big. She didn't know what and had no real plan beyond showing up at Erica's. She didn't even know what she would be arriving to. For all she knew, Erica and Lisa had made up. Her stomach clenched and her knuckles whitened on the steering wheel at the thought. She took a big breath and continued driving pushing aside panicky thoughts that made her want to turn sharply and head back to the hotel with its warm enticing fire and the safety her family offered. She was risking a lot in showing up and she knew that. Still, she had to try. Her brother was right. It was worth it.

She was however still missing her big thing. She needed something that would show Erica how worth it they were, but so far she had nothing. She frowned at her mind's inability to come up with anything. She was a blank slate beyond the showing up and while it was pretty daring to show up at your ex-girlfriend's house on Christmas, she doubted that could count as the "big thing." Her brother had counseled her to think of something _before_ jumping in the car. His ideas were big, really big. They were the type of thing that required days of planning. She didn't want to wait days. It was Christmas. Christmas had made this possible and for some reason she thought whatever happened, whatever direction her life would take would be decided on Christmas too. She still believed in miracles, but she also knew she couldn't rely on them entirely. She needed to do her part. She needed something big.

* * *

"Are you fucking kidding me?" asked Erica staring at the inside of her car in disbelief.

The heat was bleeding out quickly, the car radio was dead and worst of all there were no nice whirring noises coming from the engine. "Really? Today? You're going to do this to me today?" She slammed her fist on the steering wheel hard, barely noticing the pain.

"Fucking great, just fucking . . . AHHH!" she shouted involuntarily, practically throttling the steering wheel in frustration.

She did not want to be dealing with this right now but she was a big girl and she would. She let out a breath and was reaching for her phone, when a pair of eerily glistening eyes appeared in the passenger's side window. She felt her heart jump, along with her entire body at the face that had seemed to come out of nowhere and gave an involuntary yelp before recognition set in.

Vonda.

When her heart finally started to settle, she allowed her shaky hand to push the button that would unlock the car doors. Vonda did not hesitate, opening the passenger door wide.

"Fucking Vonda! Are you crazy?!" shouted Erica. "You scared the crap out of me!"

Vonda was, as usual, unfazed. "Car trouble?" she asked ignoring Erica's outraged tone.

Despite the fright she had just been given and her somewhat frazzled emotional state, Erica laughed.

"Yes, car trouble," she sighed. "I'm not going to be successful in getting you to leave me alone for good if I ask for a ride home right now, am I?"

Vonda gave her a smile before stating emphatically, "Honey, were you under the illusion that you had a chance before?" She didn't wait for an answer before slamming the door and walking over to the driver's side. She opened Erica's door. "Come on, it's colder than a witch's tits out here."


	8. Chapter 8

TITLE: For Old Time's Sake

AUTHOR: rcruz

_Disclaimer: If I owned them, things would look a lot different. The characters, settings, established histories, and general Grey's Anatomy universe referenced in this work are properties of their respective owners. This is a work of fiction for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended._

_Author's Note: Sorry for the delay. Those of us in the U.S. know that this weekend can be a little hectic between the food, family drama, and shopping. Only one chapter to go. _

Chapter 8

By the time she arrived at Erica's, Callie was panicking. She had nothing. The slow car ride had not helped her come up with any ideas. Thankfully she didn't have to do anything when she arrived. There were no lights in Erica's windows. She had looked around for the car but it was not in the driveway. Erica was probably still at work. Thankful for the slight reprieve, Callie sat and contemplated something big. She still had nothing. She had no special gift, no meaningful memento, no cute or romantic representation of what she wanted to say. At this point she couldn't even recreate that dumb scene with the boom box. She didn't even have a song she could play from her phone. She took an inventory of her resources. She had a phone, her car and a bottle of wine her brother had insisted she take with her.

"You just never know when it'll come in handy," he had practically slurred at her as he clumsily handed it over while she donned her coat. "Besides you don't have chocolate or flowers or promises you don't intend to keep." He paused as if considering something. "Or a library." His eyes suddenly widened and he gasped. "You should get her a library!"

She had given him a quizzical look before declaring: "You're drunk."

"Maybe, little sister, maybe, but that advice is golden! You can't just show up empty handed. You need something!" He turned away from the door never bothering to close it behind him and proclaimed: "I'm the fucking woman whisperer," before tripping over his own feet and only narrowly avoiding an unfortunate face plant.

Despite the drunkenness, he was right, but she was no MacGyver. She could not possibly jimmy rig what she had into a dramatic gesture. Her confidence deflated somewhat, she tried to hold on to the fact that she was here and that was something. The fact that Erica was clearly not here gave her some time and that was important too. Callie Torres did not give up. Yes, she needed something, and while the _what_ was eluding her for the moment, there was still time for a miracle. She turned off her car engine and prepared to wait, trying not to think of what she would do if the _what_ did not come to her in time.

* * *

Erica could not help staring at her phone. She kept navigating to Callie's message and then exiting and locking the screen. A few seconds later she would do it again. It didn't help that Vonda wouldn't shut up and that, in all honesty, Erica found her phone much more interesting than Vonda's chatter. Mostly Vonda talked about work people, which Erica was not interested in. Occasionally she would remind Erica of just how lucky Erica was that she had waited around. Erica was trying to ignore her, which was easy when her focus was on her phone.

"Lord, girl who is texting you that you're so caught up in it? Is it your crazy girlfriend? Ignore her. That girl is too much in your face! You know she was harassing the nursing staff when we were in surgery that night you all had it out, right? I heard all about it when we got out. She was actually hollering that they pull you out of surgery! She crazy."

"It's not her," said Erica curtly.

She wanted to clarify that she wasn't talking to anyone, but was fearful that she would then have to explain that she was simply re-reading one simple text message over and over and she knew that would only increase Vonda's curiosity. However, she did want Vonda to stop talking about her "girlfriend". They were broken up. Maybe, just maybe, if Erica shared that information, Vonda would finally shut up about it.

"We broke up. We're not in contact anymore." That was the simple truth. Erica wasn't going to elaborate or explain further.

A loud screeching emanated from Vonda. "Well it's about time! God, she was annoying and I didn't even know her that well! Good for you Dr. Hahn."

That was another one of Vonda's little quirks. Despite her attempts at friendship, she had never really called Erica by her first name. It was always some informal generic term of endearment or Dr. Hahn. It was strange.

"I mean phone call after phone call during your shift? Oh, I'm sorry, you are okay, right? Am I being insensitive? My momma would say I'm being insensitive, but I honestly do think you're better off." She paused and glanced at Erica who was still contemplating her phone. "Or am I? There is someone new, isn't there?! Damn girl, you move fast!" she shrieked way too excitedly.

Erica winced at the high pitch noises coming from Vonda. She hadn't listened to the words too closely, but could not ignore the shrieks and got the general gist of Vonda's meaning. She turned her attention away from her phone and tried to concentrate on the road in an attempt to prove to Vonda and herself that she was not as distracted by her phone as she was. There was no one new.

It was no use. Her gaze involuntarily returned to the phone that was being turned over and over in her hands. She tried to cover.

"Surgeon exercises," she said to Vonda doubting it would fool her. Vonda was a surgical nurse. She knew too much.

"Right," said Vonda with a smirk. "So, we know it's not that hellion of an ex that's got you all worked up, but it's somebody, right? Come on, doctor, the suspense is killing me!"

"I could be reading a message from my mother," said Erica trying to sound like that was indeed the case.

"Ain't nobody react like that to their mama," replied Vonda in that slightly loud and southern drawl she liked to put on.

Erica could never quite figure out if Vonda was really southern or if she had simply adopted the accent to be different. She suspected the latter.

"Come on now, you're all flushed and distracted. It's definitely not your momma you're concerned with. You can tell me," goaded Vonda still smiling.

"I am not telling you anything," said Erica trying to maintain her stoicism.

Vonda was annoying, but Erica had to admit, she was proving a good distraction from her phone and her obsession with Callie's message. Erica was a little grateful to her for that tonight. She was grateful for the ride and for the diversion she was providing, especially when distraction seemed a near impossible task. She was appreciative, but she had no intention of sharing just how much with Vonda.

"You can't snow me, girlfriend. I know something's going on. You've been all flustered and antsy today like something's got into your pants, but it's not a something, is it? It's _someone_, ain't it? You got that far away look people get when they clearly have someone on their mind," she said glancing at Erica with what was supposed to be a sly smile. It wasn't successful.

Erica continued twisting and turning the phone in her hand unconsciously mimicking the movement in her fluttering stomach, but trying to maintain her stony expression. She did not want Vonda knowing anything about her life, let alone how thrown she was at the moment. It was enough that Vonda knew about Lisa. She thought she had successfully kept all the emotion off her face when Vonda suggested it might be someone, but Vonda's next words made her think that perhaps she had not been as successful as she wanted to be.

"Holy shit! I was kinda kidding before, but it is someone! Girl, it's all over your face. Look at that cute little flush. Oh my God, you're sweet on someone. Tell me everything! Tell me, tell me, tell me!" she demanded.

"I will do no such thing," said Erica calmly.

Internally, Erica was cursing her car for choosing tonight to die on her. She needed to think clearly about Callie's message not fend off this crap. She didn't want anyone from her job in her personal life. She had learned a harsh lesson about that at Seattle Grace.

"Can you just concentrate on the road?" she implored. "This isn't appropriate conversation for two people who are not friends," she added a little too harshly. She winced at her own tone, but maybe it would do the trick and shut Vonda up.

"I am concentrating, don't get your knickers all in a twist about it and stop being such a grump. Ain't nobody trying to kill you," said Vonda, her voice losing some of its cheerful giddiness. "We could be friends," she murmured under her breath.

Vonda seemed genuinely hurt and Erica sighed. She hated this. She didn't want to hurt Vonda. She didn't want to hurt anyone. She just didn't want the complication. It was why she didn't have friends at work. Having friends was difficult. Still, Vonda had agreed to give Erica a ride home. She had also put up with quite a bit of Erica's gruffness over the last year. They weren't friends and she wasn't sure they could be, but that was no cause for Erica to snap at her when Vonda was trying to be friendly. Perhaps she should try to be friendly back. It could be a mistake, being friendly sometimes resulted in . . . well actual friendships. She wasn't sure she wanted that, but she didn't want to hurt Vonda either. She took a deep breath.

"Look, it's too complicated to explain," she offered, hoping Vonda would understand that it wasn't about her and her friendliness. Some things were just too knotty and convoluted like the fact that she shouldn't be thinking about Callie at all, but had been for her entire shift. How could she possibly explain the longing and desire seeing Callie had reawakened in her? How do you describe a feeling so strong it's impossible to banish? How do you put into words wanting something so badly, you ignore all sense and logic as she was currently doing?

"Ah hell, you know that's crap!" countered Vonda getting a little of her cheeriness back and snapping Erica out of her melancholy thoughts.

Yep, she had made a huge mistake. Giving Vonda information only encouraged her. She didn't want that so she went back to looking at her phone, hoping Vonda would get the hint that she didn't want to talk about it anymore.

"It's none of your business, Vonda. I know you mean well, but I don't talk about my personal life," she added as further incentive.

Vonda was surprisingly quiet, so she put her phone down thinking it was safe to do so. It wasn't.

"Fine. I have an imagination and right now it's picturing a long lost love returning to your life just as the irritating girl is leaving. That's a Christmas movie right there."

Erica smiled despite herself. She couldn't help it. Vonda was right. This whole thing was starting to feel like a cheesy Christmas movie. "Yes, it's exactly like that," she said sarcastically.

She checked her phone again feeling just a little OCD as she was essentially repeating the same actions over and over again. She would stare at Callie's message, close it and then do it all over again. She looked up wanting to make sure Vonda was taking her home and not kidnapping her, but there was no need for concern. They were very close to her block.

"Turn here," she said directing Vonda to a shortcut.

Vonda responded without questioning her.

"So, will there be a hot girl waiting for you at home? Is that why you keep staring at your phone? She send you a naughty picture or something?"

"What? NO! There will be NO ONE waiting for me," said Erica a little too loudly and with the varied, uncontrolled pitch of an adolescent boy; trying desperately to ignore the fact that that was one of the scenarios she had briefly conjured as she stared at Callie's message with what she knew was the simpering idealism of an adolescent girl. She felt exposed as if Vonda had perhaps read her mind, but that was entirely ridiculous.

Vonda was looking at her with disbelieving eyes.

"She sent me a message, not a picture!" blurted Erica almost involuntarily.

She hadn't meant to do that. She didn't want to confirm anything for the over-inquisitive Vonda.

"Ah, so there is someone! But no naughty message? Well, that's kinda boring," said Vonda nonchalantly.

Erica was exasperated.

"Shut up," she said, "just shut up. My house is at the end of this street." She paused thankful that she would be home soon. "Why do you even care? I mean you're irritating as hell, but why do you even bother to irritate me?"

Vonda winked, "We gay girls gotta stick together."

Erica was a little stupefied. She had never even considered the possibility that Vonda was gay, but then why would she? She didn't socialize at work and she didn't contemplate other people's love lives.

"Don't be so shocked, doctor," said Vonda. "I know you won't ask so I'll tell ya. Been with my partner 5 years now. We celebrated our 5th last night," she said with a beaming smile. "It was a good night and when you have a night like that, well, you want everyone to be that happy," she added with a wink.

Erica smiled. "I'm sorry. I didn't know. I'm not sorry you're gay…I didn't mean that." She took a breath. She was not good at this stuff, but thought some words of congratulations or good wishes were in order. "Congratulations," she offered. "On your anniversary not your good night," she added quickly although she didn't know why she had felt the need to qualify. The qualification seemed off so she tried clarifying. "Not that I'm not happy you had a good night, I am," she tried explaining. She had to end this.

Vonda was laughing at her. Fortunately, they were just pulling up to her house.

"Thanks for the ride, I really appreciate…" she started to say a little sheepishly, but Vonda did not let her finish.

"What do we have here?" Vonda interrupted. "It looks like there is a hot girl is waiting for you after all," said Vonda with a beaming smile as she stopped the car in front of Erica's house.

Someone was on her doorstep.

"Merry Christmas, Dr. Hahn. It looks like it's gonna be a very Merry Christmas, indeed."


	9. Chapter 9

TITLE: For Old Time's Sake

AUTHOR: rcruz

_Disclaimer: If I owned them, things would look a lot different. The characters, settings, established histories, and general Grey's Anatomy universe referenced in this work are properties of their respective owners. This is a work of fiction for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended._

_Author's Note: Last chapter. Thanks for hanging in there with me._

Chapter 9

"Please tell me that's your girl," said Vonda. "Damn, she's hot!"

"What are you talking about? I don't know who…" started Erica looking closely at her door.

Who was standing on her steps? Who would be showing up to her house at this hour? Recognition slowly dawned on her. Her eyes widened and her stomach dropped to her shoes as she realized just who was standing there in the moonlight. Yep, she was pretty sure there was a huge gaping hole where her stomach used to be because it felt hollow as she contemplated a very real Callie Torres standing on her steps looking a little cold and a lot lost.

Callie had barely registered the car moving up the street until it slowed almost exactly parallel to where she stood and then she worried. It wasn't Erica's car, so it was most likely a neighbor, but it might be a neighbor who would call the cops on her. She was trying to think of what to do. Should she try ringing the bell? That might make her look like she was expected or at least belonged. It might assuage the fear that she was a burglar. Then again, what kind of visitor shows up close to midnight? She wasn't Santa Claus. Deciding the best thing to do was to acknowledge whoever had just shown up, she put on a smile and tried desperately to think of an explanation. The car double-parked right in front of Erica's townhouse, so she assumed someone was being dropped off. When two people emerged from the driver and passenger's side she was confused. Then her heart stopped.

Erica.

Erica was the passenger and a very pretty redhead was getting out of the driver's side.

_Shit!_

She let her eyes dart to her car, but there was no making a run for it. They'd already noticed her.

_Fuck!_

She had not planned for this exactly. She thought there was a small possibility Lisa would be here too, but she hadn't really believed that's what she would find.

_Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! _

Having no other choice, she made her way down the stairs hoping to escape before they reached her, despite the utter impossibility of that scenario.

"HI!" shouteed the redhead who was thankfully hanging by her car for the moment.

Callie had finally managed to reach the sidewalk and was cursing her good manners for preventing the major hundred-yard dash she wanted to run straight to her car. The redhead was eyeing her curiously, her body covered by the driver's side door she was still standing behind.

"Aren't you a sight? You must be freezing. How long you been out here?"

Callie almost laughed. The woman was doing a pretty bad imitation of Dolly Parton, but her overall demeanor was friendly. Somehow she didn't fit Callie's imaginary profile of Lisa.

"Just a little while," she managed to get out glancing at Erica's dumbfounded face.

Erica was standing in the street. She held a phone loosely in one hand and the strap of her bag in the other. She didn't look happy.

"This was a mistake," said Callie as she turned in the direction of her car.

"Now hold on a minute, missy. You been waiting God knows how long, you can't just leave. I don't even know you yet. I'm Vonda," she said slipping from behind the door of her car and slamming it behind her. She made her way to Callie and stretched out a gloved hand. "Well, hello all proper and such," she offered with a smile. "Who might you be?"

_This woman is insane_, was Callie's first thought. Her second was: _her name is not Lisa_. Feeling a little confused, a tad off balance, but a lot happy that this woman wasn't Lisa, she did the only thing she could. She shook the woman's hand.

"Hi, I'm Callie," she said cheerfully.

"So the mystery woman has a name; a pretty one too. Well nice to meet you Callie. I work with the good doctor over here. She's had a little car trouble tonight so I just popped her home."

They both turned in Erica's direction, but Erica was still in shock.

"She'll come out of it soon. I don't think she was quite expecting you, but she's real happy to see you." She tilted her head still looking at Erica. "At least I think so."

Callie smiled. This woman was crazy but right then and there, Callie decided she liked her. She looked over at Erica who was finally moving closer to them.

"What are you doing here?" Erica asked, joining them on the sidewalk. She looked around and tried to get her bearings. She still couldn't believe Callie was here. Callie's presence turned everything upside down for her. It took on new meaning especially after Callie's text message earlier. It made the wanting and desire, the longing for things that had been, but would never be again a little too strong and real.

It was close to midnight, snowing, cold and Christmas. None of them should be standing on that sidewalk. Vonda should be home with her partner. Callie should be with her family and Erica should be alone in her place not thinking about any of this.

"What are you doing here?" she repeated, her breath coming out in cold wisps of air.

"I came to see you," said Callie in an unsure tone. She smiled weakly.

Callie's hair was turning white, the snowflakes, which seemed to be getting thicker, swirled around all of them. Her rosy tinted cheeks glittered in the moonlight making her appear radiant and inviting, too inviting.

"Why?" asked Erica.

Erica didn't know why she had asked that. It was too broad a question. She liked specifics in her questions. It usually resulted in better answers, but she wasn't sure what she would hear if she asked a more specific question right now and was even more uncertain of what she wanted to hear as a response.

Callie's smile faltered a little.

"I just needed to know," she responded.

"Know what?" was on the tip of Erica's tongue. It was the type of specific question she liked, but she didn't ask it. Instead, she addressed Vonda.

"Vonda, thanks for the ride. You should probably get home," said Erica as kindly as she could. She didn't want to offend Vonda, but this was a personal matter and whatever happened tonight with Callie was private and needed to stay that way.

For the first time since Erica had known her, Vonda seemed at a loss for words. Her thick eyelashes caught flakes of the falling snow causing her to blink awkwardly as she stared at the both of them. She looked from one to the other as if trying to figure something out. After a few seconds she seemed to come out of her dazed state.

"Don't y'all stand out here too long," she said somewhat more subdued than she had been earlier as she reached for the zipper of her jacket.

"Be careful. It's coming down pretty hard," said Erica finally taking her eyes away from Callie and giving Vonda a grateful look.

"Thanks, I'll be as careful as a canary in a mine. Well, I guess I better skeedadle," Vonda drawled as she finished zipping. She rubbed her eyes and tried shaking the snow out of her hair. She was stalling because she felt she ought to say something more, anything to cut the tension, but nothing was coming to her. She had been ecstatic to find the mystery person here. It was like her imaginary Christmas movie was coming true, but she felt the tension and hurt that existed between them from where she stood. It made the air heavy and labored and she wondered whether this story would have a happy ending. Needing to do something and finding Callie more approachable, she reached for Callie's hand. Callie was surprised by the gesture, but went with it, squeezing Vonda's hand in hers.

"It was nice to meet you, Callie. I'm really hoping we'll see each other soon," said Vonda. She leaned in to Callie's ear. "You take care of her now, ya hear? She's been awfully tense today." She winked at Callie and then walked back to her car. "See you the day after tomorrow, Dr. Hahn. I'll want details," she said as she slipped into her warm car and drove off.

She didn't know if it would all work out, after all nothing is guaranteed in life, but it was Christmas and in her Christmas movie, the next time she saw Erica, she imagined the doctor would be completely, utterly, and absolute unwilling to divulge the details. She would however, be smiling as she refused. It would be a happy ending. It had to be.

"She's a little odd," said Callie as she watched her drive away.

"Nothing is as odd as this," said Erica gesturing between them. She had managed to pick up her purse and position the strap over her shoulder. She was standing, ramrod straight, phone clutched tightly in her hand, a very serious expression on her face.

"What did you…?" Erica struggled again to ask the question she wanted to know the answer to. She didn't know why she was struggling. Was she fearful of the answer or the asking? She looked away from Callie and around at the various townhomes that bordered hers. No lights had come on, so that was a relief. They had not managed to wake the neighbors yet. She tried again. "What did you want to know, Callie?"

She wanted it to sound neutral, but wasn't sure she'd achieved it. Her voice sounded weary and scared in her head. Maybe she was, but she never wanted to project that. She didn't want it out there. She silently cursed the fact that with Callie it was hard to hold back. It was hard to hide. Callie had always been the exception to every one one of her rules.

Callie's mind was frantic. She had nothing big yet. She had nothing in fact. Wanting to give herself time, she stalled.

"I thought that was Lisa at first," she said letting her gaze wander to where Vonda had been.

"Lisa's…Lisa's history," said Erica with a slight shiver. It was getting cold. She should go inside. They both should. She knew that, but she wanted an answer to her question. She thought about repeating it and getting them both back to the topic keeping them out in the cold, but she said nothing, still waiting for Callie to explain herself.

Callie was looking at her trying not to react with giddiness at the news that Lisa was no longer a concern. She tried to be normal and act as if this was a routine social call between friends, knowing the attempt would fail abysmally, as all of this was far from routine.

"I didn't mean to intrude or anything, I just…" Callie stopped unsure of how to proceed. What she wanted to know was Erica's reaction to her text. She wanted to know if there was anything left of them for her to hang on to? But the fact that Erica had not answered and was not answering now seemed ominous, despite the news about Lisa, and as a result Callie was struggling with the asking.

"What did you want to know?" Erica asked again, still looking expectant. She knew she was being unfair. Yes, Callie was here unexpectedly, and yes Erica had a right to ask the question, but Erica had yet to respond to Callie's text message. She'd looked at it enough to know it had been sent hours ago. Technically, the next move should be hers. Yet, here she was waiting for an explanation from Callie.

Callie put her hands in her pockets. Her brother had told her she needed something big. She would find nothing big there. She looked around the area they were standing in, hoping for a little inspiration, but there was nothing except snow. She was surrounded by street lamps, cars, and buildings; all being gently enveloped in a layer of snow that seemed to be coming down faster. She sighed. That sound seemed to indicate something to Erica because she let the stony resolve fade into sadness for a second. Callie saw it happen. It was as if Callie's sigh signaled some defeat. Seconds later Erica began rummaging through her purse, probably for house keys. In the distance Callie heard a bell. It seemed strange until she placed the sound and then her heart sank.

_Clank…clank_

They were Church bells. It must be midnight. Christmas would be over soon. Callie had made her way over here tonight because she wanted to believe in Christmas magic and miracles, but Christmas was coming to an end and it was leaving without her miracle.

_Clank…clank_

She had nothing big to offer Erica. No boom box, no song, no poetic soliloquy. She turned in the direction of the bells while Erica continued to rummage. Apparently the keys were being elusive. Callie frowned a little growing frustrated that Erica seemed to think the big important conversation she wanted to have was over before it started. It was as if she hadn't said the right thing fast enough and Erica was done. She was done with Callie and done with standing out in the cold.

_Clank…clank _

"I just wish…" she said out loud turning her eyes back to Erica who had stopped paying attention to her and was instead continuing the search for her keys.

_Clank…clank _

"Damn keys, I can never find them in this bag," she heard Erica mumble.

Suddenly Callie was reminded of something. "Erica," she said in a soft voice.

_Clank…clank_

Erica lifted her head from her purse. "What, Callie? What? It's cold and I'm tired. I'm not sure why you're here or what you wanted to know and you don't seem capable of telling me."

Called winced at the tone, but she understood it. "I just…" she said and then the memory of their first kiss and how much it resembled this moment came back in full and she knew what she needed to do. She knew what her big something needed to be.

_Clank…clank _

"I just want to…" she started to say. "Fuck it," she finished impatiently as she heard the sound of the last few bells and let her heart go where it wanted to go, the place it had never forgotten.

_Clank…clank_

She stepped right in front of Erica, let slightly cold hands land on a warm and flushed face and pulled Erica's lips to hers forcefully. She sighed into the kiss as their lips met and then sighed again when Erica's mouth opened to hers. Their bodies gravitated to each other as the kiss deepened. She thought she would melt on the spot when she felt Erica's arms around her. She wanted to say so, but she didn't want the kiss to end. She shifted her legs moving their bodies even closer and felt Erica's arms tightened around her. God, that felt good.

Much too soon the kisses slowed and she felt Erica's arms relax and loosen until there were familiar hands on her hips steadying her. Finally there was only one long, lingering kiss before they both separated. They stared at each other for a long moment without saying anything.

Callie was at a loss. She wanted to say so much, but was afraid of ruining the moment. She had ruined so many. But she had not driven half way across the city to say nothing.

"Merry Christmas," she managed moving closer and not resisting the urge to nuzzle her face in the long beautiful neck she thought of constantly.

It was the best kiss they had ever shared, but they had shared wonderful kisses last night too. She needed to make things clear and then she realized that the kiss was not big enough. She still needed her something big. She braced herself and thought of the biggest thing she could think of.

"I love you. I want to be with you. It's as simple as that."

"Callie stop!" said Erica. Erica wasn't sure yet if she wanted to hear this. It was crazy. They'd been broken up for a year. They had run into each other by chance. These things just don't happen in this way, no matter how much she wanted it to be a reality. "You can't just… You can't just send me a text message and expect everything to be okay."

Callie stepped back. "I know that," she said sadly. "I understand if it's too late for us, but know that I want you. I'm standing here like I couldn't a year ago and telling you that I want you for life. I want to wake with you every morning and snuggle up to you at night. That's what I want and I wanted to know if there was still a chance that you wanted that too. Obviously, you don't, but I had to try," said Callie trying to hold herself together.

Erica was struggling. She shouldn't want this. They were over. They had made an abysmal effort at trying to make it work and it had resulted in utter failure. Neither of them should want to rekindle the fledging thing they'd had. It didn't make sense.

"I'm sorry I disturbed you," said Callie through a forced smile before placing a sweet, soft kiss on Erica's damp cheek. "Merry Christmas," she whispered as she pulled away. She turned without a backward glance not wanting Erica to see the tears and started in the direction of her car.

She focused on her car and cursed the stupid snow that she would have to clean off before she could drive away. She needed a clean exit and the snow was not going to allow that. The jingling bells coming from her pocket was out of place and she was disoriented for a moment before she realized it was coming from the phone in her pocket. She was going to ignore that. It was probably her brother sending drunken text messages.

"I think you have a message."

That was Erica's voice from behind her, closer than it should be considering the distance Callie thought she had put between them. "What the hell?" She muttered to herself trying to formulate a reason why Erica would be behind her telling her to check her messages. One immediate possibility presented itself in big bold flashing letters. She stopped in her tracks and reached into her pocket with trembling hands. Her heart went into immediate overdrive as she clutched at the phone in her pocket nervously.

"Check the message, Callie," said Erica close enough now that Callie felt her presence.

She slowly pulled the phone out of her pocket and swiped at the flakes landing on it before navigating to her messages. She was shaking all over, but there it was, a message from Erica. She hovered over the screen for a few seconds, held her breath, and touched it. There was a nanosecond's pause before the message materialized.

_I still love you too _

"It's a crazy thing," said Erica, "and I don't know if it means…" She took a breath before continuing. "I don't know if it means we can try again like you…" She stopped again. She couldn't do that. She couldn't just put it all on Callie. She had to be honest. "Like _we_ want," she finished, letting out a sigh as if it was a relief to get that out. "I couldn't let you walk away without letting you know that."

Callie almost dropped her phone at the words. She didn't, which was good because it was new and she didn't think it could survive snow. She turned around as she slipped it back in her pocket, smiling like she had not done in a year. She was too excited to talk and giggled instead as she made her way to Erica engulfing her in a hug.

The kissing started immediately after. Unlike their earlier kisses these were quick and hot, both of them seemingly trying to make up for lost time in the space of a few seconds. Callie kissed everywhere she encountered, lips, nose, cheeks, even Erica's eyes. She brought her hands to Erica's face enjoying the soft white skin that was quickly heating to her touch or their activity, she didn't know which.

Erica was relentless in her attentions, reaching for all the parts of Callie she could as she met Callie's mouth over and over again. She pulled at Callie's coat, linked her fingers on pant loops and pulled their bodies together until no space existed between them. They struggled with breathing until they could take it no more, letting their mouths separate to inhale much needed air. Their hot breaths mixed with the cold air, creating an artificial fog around them that took awhile to dissipate. Despite the very real internal heat they were generating, it was still snowing and still very cold outside.

Callie fingered the buttons on Erica's coat. She still had that same long trench coat she had favored when she was at Seattle Grace. They had shared their first kiss in that trench coat. Callie smiled. Christmas miracles.

"You gonna invite me upstairs?" she asked feeling more confident than ever about the answer.

Erica closed her eyes and looked skyward with some difficulty as the snow was falling on her face. She turned her gaze back to Callie and let her cold, clammy hand cup Callie's cheek. "I guess we need to talk about some things." She smiled and pulled Callie closer. "Besides, we should get off the street and go upstairs. We're going to wake up the neighbors," she declared still gazing at the twinkling eyes dancing in hers.

They walked hand in hand. Callie's heart was racing a mile a minute at the new direction her life had just taken. The jingle of keys made her smile. Somehow Erica had managed to locate her keys. She fit them in the lock and opened the door for both of them standing aside to let Callie in first. As Callie brushed past her, Erica spoke.

"I want you to spend the night," she said sounding slightly unsure.

Callie stopped in the doorway and gave her a warm smile. She reached up to caress Erica's cheek. Erica held her breath for a few seconds waiting for Callie's response.

"I'm not going anywhere," said Callie. Their eyes held. "Ever," she added still smiling as she pulled Erica fully inside.

With a newfound confidence in what lay ahead of her, Erica shut the door behind them with a gentle thud.

* * *

_Thanks for reading and Happy Holidays!_


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